Difficult Week Ahead...

 

I am just going to dive right into this one because, as you read in my last post, I am NOT in the mood for any bullshit and I am working extremely hard to stay positive; also working on reaching out to my loved ones before I fall into the rabbit hole, so here is what this week looks like for me...

Tomorrow, would have been my beloved Uncle's birthday, and I would always be the niece who called him every year, no matter where I was in the world, to make sure he knew I loved him and always had him on my mind. Not just that, but I have the cancer clinic tomorrow for myself; so its a double crappy day already.

On the 26th, it will be that very Uncle's death date. He passed away in 2018, two days after his 80th birthday. Sadly, his wife passed away on the 16th of January this year; so it's going to be an equally hard day; but I am sure I will get through the day with the love and support of those in my life. 

The most difficult day of the week will be coming a mere three days after this one...

On January 29th, it is the anniversary of my Teddybear's death. It's hard to believe how much time has passed, yet it still feels like it was only yesterday. We are entering our 15th year without him; make no mistake, when someone tells you that "time heals all wounds", they are full of crap. 

It never gets easier, those of us that are left behind on this earthly plane, still feel the incredible loss and the pain of never seeing our loved one again; we just learn to live with the pain. I am not going to tell you that I am okay about his passing, he was only 34 years old... He was larger than life and he had this booming voice and such a boisterous loud, deep, full on belly laugh... it sounded kinda sinister for those who didn't know him. But believe me when I say, he was nothing more than a big teddybear to his loved ones.

He was definitely one of the good ones, and although I had chosen to "release" him 4 years ago, I still think of him quite often; especially on particularly hard days. He'd hate how much I have fallen, but he'd be super proud that I continue to rise one more time than I have fallen. He was just that kind of man... obviously I will say "God always takes the good ones first!" and in his case... it's definitely the truth. I continue to be blessed with him being an angel, and very grateful for the time we had together... good times and tough times.

I just wanted to put this out there because it is important that people acknowledge that just because we go silent on difficult days like these, doesn't mean we don't appreciate people reaching out... please don'ttake it personally if on these particular days, we are not ourselves. 

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed. So much love and respect to all my lovies

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