Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

Page 40 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you the day finds you all in good health. I know, it is Monday... so even for me, it is always a day that I may function at (maybe) 60%, at best. On top of it being a Monday, I have made some decisions that are a little bit out of character for me; BUT they are in the nest interest of my well-being and health. I am learning that this cute, two letter word, in the English language needs to start being my best friend, and a very BIG part of my vocabulary.  It is going to take a bit of getting used to, and it is going to disappoint some people in my life; but I have to look out for myself now. I am talking about the word, "NO!!!" I have a loud voice. I stand up to a lot of injustices I see happening to people in and around my circle. The problem is, a lot of those who see me doing this, have become reliant on me. I normally wouldn't have an issue with that; but these same people are NOT making any effort to help their situations ...

  I know this is going to be more of a touchy subject. I have been struggling mentally lately. I mean, I am not having a mental breakdown, where I feel I need to go to the hospital and get an evaluation; but I have definitely been having episode after episode.  Every week I am snapping on my person. He takes the brunt of it. I really don't deserve someone like him in my life; but I am eternally grateful for him. I tell him this all the time; but there are truly no words that can express how true that it. I CAN admit that this week got me good. I got triggered soooo bad, that I actually contemplated swallowing as many pills as I could find. It wasn't an idle threat neither.  I honestly am so disappointed in myself. I haven't had suicidal thoughts or triggers in a very long time. It took me a couple days to get out of my head. I cannot really explain why I get stuck, and overthink... always the worst case scenario.  Am I the only one who does this??? It fkn sucks. I am...

Page 37 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Happy FriYay!!! I don't know about you, but we are hunkering down for yet another fantastical snow storm. I don't mind. I love snow; I just really don't like having loved ones on the roads when they are shitty. Thankfully for most, it is the weekend and people are home; yet, I have some loved ones that have no choice and are working... it is them I worry about. The only crappy thing about the weather doing its shit is how it effects those of us who deal with excruciating pain and headaches from the change in barometric pressure.  It is a terrible thing; when your life and activities are based on Mother Nature's bipolar moods. I cannot speak for everyone; but when you are affected by both the high and low pressures; you are pretty much fuckered. I send out gentle hugs to everyone who has medical conditions that get much worse when the weather goes all funky. Am I the only one who is shocked at how fast this year is going already? So...

Page 31 of 365. Last Page of Book One. Good Morning Lovies. Happy Saturday!!! I hope the day finds you well. If something is troubling you, I send you hugs and the most positive vibes out there. For those of you who are venturing out this weekend, I hope you have a great time.  Stay safe and please stay warm. I hope the weather cooperates with your travels. I will be staying in my comfy lil bubble. I feel like a dick for not committing more to my writing; but there hasn't been anything extremely important I need to g4et off my chest.  There is one topic that is always on my mind, so I feel I should talk about it; better to let it out than let it fester, right? I see this over and over, throughout my life. People with the biggest hearts are the ones who hurt the worst. They want to help the world, but that desire is taken advantage of by pretty much everyone in their life. It's almost like, they expect it of you when you are nice to them, even once. I call these type of people ...

Page 25 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. How are you today? For those of you who are in the area... please stay safe, and warm as possible; hell, just keep your grubbies on, cuddle under a blanket and watch a movie, or football (not footie).  I know, most of you are cussing out Mother Nature right now. I am sorry, that I can't hold the same sentiment as you.  I love snow. I am the weird one who likes the dreary rainy days over the hot sunny ones in the summer too.  MEH. It is what it is!!! I have a lot weighing on my mind; with probably even more weighing on my shoulders. I am scared about tomorrow. I don't believe in God, but I will be praying all day. It really isn't my story to tell; but I ask all my readers and followers to please send up positive/healing vibes out. It is deeply appreciated. Tomorrow is also the death date of my Uncle who passed away in 2018. He will always be close to my heart. My aunt would always tell me stories of when I was about 6 months old, I went...

Page 23 of 365. Good Morning my Lovies. Happy Freyja/Frigga Day. The weekend is almost here, albeit we are in for a "hell has frozen over" one... but this IS Canada, and I AM CANADIAN!!!  So many people are complaining about the snow and the bitter cold we get when the Alberta Clippers come through; but we get a few of them every year... quit your bitchin' The past few days nearly broke me; I can't lie. It was one shit storm after another. The emotional and mental were causing physical to the point I was fairly certain I was going to have a hospital stay that wasn't gonna be a simple in-n-out kinda deal.  It's a terrible feeling when people know you have mental health disorders, and they purposely trigger you... it ALMOST broke me. YES, I cried. I got depressed. I got angry. Fuck, I got all the emotions, and my loved ones felt the brunt of it. The one thing these assholes were not counting on, is this...  THEY THOUGHT THEY WON, WHEN THEY SAW ME ON MY KNEES... ...

I really wanna talk about this topic because frankly, I am tired of hearing people forcing this ideology on others, when it is such a damaging comment. I believe I have touched on this subject before. I apologize if I have; but it seems we could use a refresher course on it. PLEASE STOP USING THE BASTARDIZED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL QUOTE ~ "Kin-blood is not spoilt by water". This was translated from German from Reinhart Fuchs c. 1180. It then became"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." in English proverbs in the 1700s. This literally means the polar opposite of you saying, "Blood is thicker than water".  The original meaning is, chosen relationships (covenant/sworn loyalties) are stronger than family ties (womb). I am sure people are going to comment that this is ridiculous and that blood ties are above everything. I am here to say, from personal experience, this simply is not true; saying this can be detrimental to some people...

Page 17 of 365. Good Afternoon my Lovies. I hope you all have a great Saturday, even if it is simply lounging around; may you have a peaceful day. Today, I struggle internally. Two years ago (yesterday), my beloved Aunt passed away. When I tell you this woman was a mother to me, in EVERY way, right down to the spankings and regular stuff us Gen Xers dealt with. She basically was tough love, with a gentle touch... if that makes any sense?!! The reason I struggle with her passing is because I knew she was really sick for quite a long time, so it wasn't too surprising that she was going to die; what shocked me, and hurt me was no one told me she had died. I found out about her passing AFTER her funeral. TALK ABOUT TWISTING THE KNIFE!!! I knew my mother (adopted) was always jealous of our relationship and how close we were. I was also very well aware of how vindictive she can be towards me. Any chance she got, she'd twist that knife a little deeper in my back... it's like some ...

Hey y'all. Yes, I am off and writing another blurb about things on my mind, and about a very hot topic on many people's minds... With the massive dumping of snow (at least in my part of the world) , I can't help but think of all the homeless. I have a ton of mixed emotions when it comes to their lives and what led to the current circumstances of their situation. I know, a lot of people scoff at them, claiming they are "crackheads", "methheads", "alcoholics", "stains on society", "waste of space", etc. What is more disturbing is the amount of people who often say they should just die.                              WTAF??? It is not just a disgusting and disturbing thing to say; I can't help but wonder where people's humanity went. A lot of people lost everything thanks to the government... a fucking greedy "business" os what they are!!! Money over people... kill off the weak. It has been sooooo obvious and it...

Page 15 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. How are you this fine wintery day? I sit here, taking my time writing this entry, because I am thoroughly enjoying the beautiful white stuff covering everything outside. The blanket that silents all the noise for a time. Snow is such a serene thing to me. I know, I am a weirdo... I love rain and snow; dreary and drab days seem to comfort me. Ah well, who said we all had to be the same, right?!! It could just be the spiritual aspect of it. Similar to rain, I feel it is grounding and cleansing. It's a witch and Pagan thing (depending on your practices in the craft).  To be honest, I want nothing more than to get out there and make snow angels LOL. Do all the things we did as kids... Hell, with all the stress, frustration and people so divided on pretty much everything these days... we should get out there and have a snowball fight. Maybe get our older asses out there and slide down some hills. Yes, I am talking about toboggans, crazy carpets. OMG,...

Page 14 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Happy Hump Day everyone... I only hope that the humping is in the best way possible. Nothing worse than people screwing you for all the wrong reasons... Just saying!!! I am going to write about something that occurred last night. I am mentioning it because I hope my response to this encourages other people to react the same way. I have to admit, I don't always have the strength to act the way I did last night; but maybe it's the love I have from those in my life... especially my person... He's seen it all, so he is the one person who knows me, inside and out. 💚 I couldn't even take the comment seriously because the person who wrote it, clearly was a keyboard warrior, who couldn't post in their own name... they posted anonymous. I really can't stand people who don't have the balls to say shit to other's faces. It is rather disappointing that they couldn't be more creative, to be perfectly honest. The gist of the...

Page 13 of 365. Good Afternoon my Lovies. I hopr all is well with you, in whatever part of the world you are in... It isn't excessively cold here; considering I live in Canada and it is middle of winter... It is a balmy +5 C outside, and we are expecting rain.  When we say that Mother Nature has been bipolar the past few years, even being angry, has been the understatement of the decade.  I am not here to write about the weather, when there is so much more on my mind, and more important things to talk about... I think I am finally coming out the other side of this nasty bout of depression and being stuck in my head. It's been a rough one, and unfortunately, those closest to me have felt the brunt of it.  Before I dive into my own rambles, I want to acknowledge that it is the 4th anniversary of the Freedom Convoy that happened here in Canada.  We can never thank our truckers enough. For a moment in time, it felt like our country was united for ONE cause... to fight fo...

  Hi again. I have been slacking on my writing, so you get the "privilege" of being stuck in my head today LOL I have been increasingly trapped in my head; mostly with things that are irrational to others, but to me, they are true fears and emotions.,, and it SUCKS, that I feel this and NO ONE understands that I don't choose to feel and act this way. I am struggling.  I am having days where I have just wanted to up and disappear. I have not been suicidal (which I DO get when I have been triggered. I am NOT a planner. I am a spur of the moment kind of person. When something triggers me, I will attempt it and that's that).  I am just trying to reassure people that I feel hopeless, not suicidal!!! The best way to describe what I feel sometimes is this... Have you, or do you love someone so much, that you feel they deserve better? It's not that you want them to choose to be with someone else, you just want them to be happy. No matter how many times they reassure you, ...

Page 11 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How are you? I feel like I haven't really asked you how you all are doing? I really hope you all are in good health and good spirits.  It's a new year, with A LOT of things happening in and around us... some good, some not so good and some completely rocking our world, in ways we never saw coming!!!  I honestly don't even know where to start. I am fully aware of the world events going on, and how much conflict is deeply affecting most of us... some, in ways we can't even explain. I know the government here in Canada is a disaster, things are happening here that are completely bonkers; to the point, that many are ashamed of being Canadian. America is even a bigger mess. People are hating each other for their political views. The country is SOOOOO divided, we all know there is a civil war coming; and the both sides have very valid reasons for being where they are. Honestly, it's not just a civil war, political figures are stickin...

  Page 4 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. How is your Sunday Funday going??? I am going to dive right into what is on my mind right now; unfortunately this entry isn't going to be about pleasantries. So let's have it... I have been writing about the corporation that owns the building I reside in. We had a tenant union meeting, and immediately after we met with the owner, his daughter, and a few other people in upper management.  As soon as they walked in, I knew I was going to be targeted because I am the one with the loudest voice. The problem is, I don't fear them. Everyone has the right to live in a safe, clean and warm environment and I will be the voice for those who cannot speak. So, as I was saying, everyone had gathered in the room and the first thing that is said... The owner asked his "henchman" (idiot/puppet/moron/asshole/any vile name you wanna put here), if there was anyone in the room that they were in the middle of taking to court. This bird, tells him ...

Page 3 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How are you this lovely (damn cold) Saturday? It is the third day of the new year already. It is kinda crazy how fast time seems to be slipping by... and for the most part, I don't like it!!! In a week, my dad is going to be 87 years old, and once again, he is facing another bout with cancer; except this time, it is a rare type of skin cancer.  I just want to scream out to the universe to go pick on someone else; BUT I don't wish this kind of anguish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. My oldest granddaughter will be 6 years old in a couple weeks, and my youngest grandbaby is turning four in February. Just blows my mind. Seeing my family over the holidays really drove that point to me. I hadn't seen my family in almost a year, and when I saw my parents, my heart broke (if there was any way it could shatter anymore). I CAN say, I don't really have anything in my personal life that I can whine or complain about... there are minor thin...

  Book 3. Chapter 1. Page 1 of 365. Good Afternoon, my Lovies.  I hope all of you who went out last night, were able to toss out 2025 like the dirty, spiteful rag that is was. In our house, we tend to follow mostly, Celtic and Norse traditions. You generally are supposed to walk through your front door, walk straight through and exit at the back door (this is an invitation for good luck).  We also have the traditional cinnamon ritual done on the first of every month. I don't believe in the "new year, new me" BS. If people want to change themselves, or their lifestyle, they don't need a specific day to do that. If they truly wanted it... they would DO it!!! No excuses. I am not going to be the asshole to rain on your parade. I wish you absolutely the best in whatever you are choosing for yourself; just be sure you're do it for you. 2024 was the year of FAFO. 2025 was the year of Retribution. 2026 is the year of Rediscovery. "May the road rise to meet you, and ...

  Page 356 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope you all have a great Monday. We are in the home stretch of the end of this rather insane and almost crippling year, 2025. Today, I, along with a few others, are taking on the big corporation. We are sick and tired of the conditions we have to live in. We are in a first world country, and we pay for the places we live in.  We should be able to live in a safe, clean and secure dwelling... all of which these slumlords are not providing.  So today, after much fandangling, we finally snagged a meeting with the actual owner of the company. I admit, I have a lot of anxiety right now. I have really bad social anxiety, and it seems like I am going to be the one who lays all the shit on the table, and be the voice of the tenants... I AM known as the "one with the voice". I guess it's true. I cannot stand injustices and I really don't like when big corps think they can run over the little guy; especially since the little guy is LITE...

Page 355 of 365. Holy Crappola, Can you believe there are only ten days left to 2025.  Good Morning my Lovies. I hope you all have a good Sunday. I am reflecting on this past year this morning, and it is hard to believe it is almost done, yet I am very happy to see it coming to an end. It has been a difficult one for many of my loved ones and to some degree, me as well. Many, many people have faced financial difficulties this year, some still going back to when COVID hit; whether it affected them medically, or their companies... People continue to suffer. Just look out your window. There are homeless people everywhere. The foodbanks are overwhelmed. Shelters are full, with no alternative for thousands, if not millions of people. This is a first-world country...  THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! I know I write often about the homeless; but this is a serious issue that no one in the government is taking seriously. In the United States, you have a President who is spending millions, if no...

Page 346 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. We have finished another work week, and we are quickly approaching the end of 2025. This year has been rough for a lot of people. Honestly, here in Canada it has really been the last 5 years. Watching people suffer, break and even die by the boat loads over these 5 years has been heartbreaking. The worst part about it is none of them died from this supposed COVID. Don't get me wrong, I fully acknowledge that COVID was a serious, serious FLU; but it was NOT what the media and governments claimed it to be. COVID caused hell in ways that has nothing to do with medical! Families crumbled ~ over finances, opposing decisions about the jab, losing jobs, being confined together 24/7. Lack of resources, the mental toll. People who have taken the jab (several of them, even), are dying of rapidly deteriorating illnesses that could only be caused by the vaccination the government forced on people. Unbelievable side effects and devastating diagnosis becau...

Page 344 of 365. Good Afternoon my dear Lovies. I come today with a story that really affected me. I am going to post the link here, so you can all see what is pulling at my heart strings, both with mad respect, gratefulness and outrage... all wrapped into one. Link :   KING OF THE DAY Now that you have seen the video, what are your thoughts??? I am not one that has the right to throw stones, as I am and never was a great mom. I am not going to make excuses for my actions and take full responsibility for them. I did the best I could, at the time I did them. One thing, my kids can never say, is their mom doesn't love them!!! Before I express what I truly think... I almost feel like there is context missing from this.  I give this man a lot of respect and praise. He saw something was amiss, and instead of ignoring it, he did the right thing to do... The sad part about the whole situation is he DID record it. I mean, it was a good thing to have, it's just maddening that some...