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Ten Days Since My Last Confession Part 2

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Page 107 of 365. Good Evening Lovies. I know it has taken me a few days to continue the blurb from the other day.  Honestly, I have been struggling with my own mental health and health in general... I really need to dive back into my writing, as it seems to be the best therapy for me... No one looking at me with confusion or frustration in their eyes ~ NO, I know they are not actually doing that, it surre feels like it some days; when I simply cannot climb out of the rabbit hole my mind seems to drop me in. Anyways, allow me to explain what I was trying to wrap my head around the other day.... This past week, there has been a video circulating on the internet about a man who was violently kicking and screaming at someone's door, yelling that he was there for their daughter. He was extremely violent, even smashing out the door cam, when the owner of the home kept telling him to leave. After we have all witnessed the first video, many people felt the homeowner gave the "demented...
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Ten Days Since My Last Confession....Part 1

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Page 103 of 365. Good Evening Lovies. It is a rather peaceful night; the clouds making the moon a little more eerie ~ us, children of the night, thrive for evenings like this. I have been wanting to write for a while, but today really threw me for a loop when I got into the middle of a discussion that was absolutely appalling to me. Disgusting. Disturbing. Vile. Apprehensible; are all words that don't even come close to the way I feel about how some people reacted to the entire situation.  I need to write about it, but I feel I should sleep on it before I write... I am way too deep into my mind to get this down the way I want to express myself. It's a process, and I feel somewhat triggered. I don't want the blurb to be filled with vulgar language overshadowing the real issue. I hope you all stay safe. Stay warm, or cool. Be well. Be blessed; but most of all... Be LOVED!!!! ~ Phoenix ~ Part 2 will be posted tomorrow, after I can gather my thoughts
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Who Placed the Tracks There???

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  Page 93 of 365.  Good Morning Lovies. It's barely past midnight, and my brain is seriously scrambled so I figured, why not join the (m)asses a babble about whatever flies through my mind at any given moment for the next lil bit.  K?... K!!! Not that it was an option anyway 😜 I don't really talk about wealth, or people's financial backgrounds, because I don't believe being rich is a quality a person is required to have, to be a decent being. Plenty of people will disagree with me, that money CAN buy you literally everything you need and want in life BUT does it really??? I don't know why this subject is on my mind tonight;or maybe I do and I am just preparing myself for another battle of prejudice (judging the book by its cover kinda deal)... Or someone I know, felt slighted by the attitude of another by their looks... the misjudgement is astounding, and believe me, the other person should be grateful I wasn't there. This brings me to the title of my blurb... ...
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Baby, Baby, It's a Mad World TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING

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Page 86 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I would love to greet you all with bright, beautiful salutations; but alas, my heart is heavy with a story that brought me to my knees and full of sorrow for a woman I did not even know... yet, I know her story well. I am posting the link here of the story before I write my feelings on the situation, so you may all have a better understanding of the case. Here is the link: Spanish Woman Wins Legal Battle for Euthanasia I will begin by saying I live in Canada and we do have M.A.I.D. which is basically our polite way of saying "Dying with Dignity"; before you all get your panties in a twist, I DO agree with it to some degree, but this is something I will discuss more on another day and in greater depth.  Today, however, I wanted to talk about Noelia Castillo ~ Yes... SAY HER NAME!!! I am NOT going to make this about politics, or how it was migrants that are the problem here... or even the fact that it is the system that failed her... she was...
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Kindness Goes a LONG Way!!!

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Page 85 of 365 Good Morning Lovies. I know, I have been scatter brained and my entries have been few and far between.  I apologize for that.  I have been caught up in my own world; and sort of trying to ignore the madness happening outside my door... it is soooo ugly out there!!! It's heart-breaking and enough to make me go insane. Today's topic is going to be a little touchy for some, but it touches my life and I wanna talk about it. Please bear with me. I have been following this gentleman on social media, that along with his sister, they have chosen to put their father into a LTC (Long Term Care) home, as he suffers from Dementia. The empathy and compassion I have for both the adult children and their elderly father is unimaginable. You want to know what blows my mind??? The amount of cruelty they face from people... Strangers from around the world bash them for placing him in a LTC facility... as if they did it to "fump him off". As if this was on a "whim...
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Bitch Fest Commencing

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  I wasn't sure I wanted to write a second entry today, but something has irritated me the past few days; I felt it was important to vent about it rather than keep it inside ~ burning my thoughts any longer... So, as many of you know, I am dealing with many, many, MANY health issues, that have unfortunately force me to be in disability. This is a blessing in certain ways; but in others, it is an entire shit show.  Living in Canada, and having "free" healthcare DOES have its benefits. I have a great family doctor. I recommend him to everyone. He is very attentive to every issue that is going on with me, and he doesn't dismiss anything, no matter how minor it may seem.  I know, a lot of people will say it takes a lot to see a specialist; but, I kind of leave people with their jaws dropped when I reveal I have 17 specialists. To most, it WOULD sound soooo bizarre, and to see me, you would not think I need all of them; but if you were in my daily life, you would KNOW why ...
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Happy All Snakes Day!

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  Page 76 of 365. Good Morning Lovies.  Happy All Snakes Day!!! To some, today may be a day dedicated to St. Patrick. To others, today is a day about liberation and freedome from spiritual oppression and saying you're still here no matter who tries to give you. Whether you believe in the story of St. Pat, or believe that you're still a snake that will not be forced into hiding, let today be a day to truly remember your roots. To thank your ancestors for all they've provided you with and to be ever so grateful for this gift of life. Patrick, a fifth-century missionary, is credited with chasing all the snakes out of Ireland. The problem is, actual snakes, being cold-blooded creatures, never lived in Ireland. So, what "snakes" could he have possibly chased away? It turns out, "snakes" was a malicious metaphor for Pagans. Patrick is hailed for single-handedly wiping Paganism from Ireland and ushering in Christianity. As a result, some Pagans look at March 17...
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Catch a Glimpse

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  Page 67 of 365. Good Afternoon Dear Lovies. I hope the day finds you well. The weather has been unusually beautiful outside this weekend, minus the rain (which I happen to love, but that is besides the point).  There have been a few rather scary moments in the community, where children have fallen through the ice, on the lake, not realizing that it was 20 C outside, making the ice conditions rather unsafe and unpredictable.  All in all, everyone was safely rescued, and lessons learned...   (One can hope!!!) Today, I decided to expose my vulnerability to you all. I don't like showing my cracks to people; but I feel if I cannot share what I go through, than I am simply being a hypocrite for everything that I stand for. Please bear with me as I try to explain what has triggered me, and why I am being the way I am. So, to begin, those of you have had been reading my blog from the beginning, know that I have been sexually assaulted in recent years, and it was done ...
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Chapter 3, Sorry I am Slacking

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Page 63 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. Surprisingly, it is above zero outside, there isn't any snow on the ground; and I sit here in a tank top and shorts. (Mind you that is nothing new, as I am one who wears flip flops out in the snow when it is minus 15 or minus 20 outside... I AM Canadian after all!!!). I have been struggling with writing lately. Really been stuck in my head. There is soooo much evil in the world, that I couldn't even put into words what I wanted to say, let alone what I thought of it all. It truly is impossible to process how "sick" the world has become... or maybe always has been... To think that on March 1st, we commemorated the lives that were lost over the farce of the Salem witch trials in 1692. The injustices that occurred. Women AND men who were executed for being human; for using natural things to heal people. To me, it is utterly insane how society was back then. I had to bring that up, in order to express how I feel about what is going on ...
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Not So Crazy Now, Eh?!!

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Page 52 of 365. Good afternoon Lovies. Happy Caturday!!! I hope you all are having a decent day... I will gracefully bow out on a response of my own today.  Honestly, if you were to ask me, how things were; I don't think I could describe them... and for me, that is a rare thing. The depths of "evil" that is being exposed these days is something no one should be reading... and definitely nothing anyone should have ever been subjected to.  I look online and I see how people are reacting.  I see how people are still going on about Democrats and Liberals and Republicans...  It is NOT about a political stance. It is about the fucking CHILDREN!!! I do not care if I am offending you today. If you don't like what I am saying 👉👉👉is the damn door. GTFOH!!! The harsh reality is, people (victims/survivors/warriors) have been telling the world about this for years; decades even... and most people turned a blind eye. They were mocked, ostracized, bullied and even murdered. Chil...
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Pardon Me? Why So Rude???

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Page 41 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How goes it? I am in a mood today, but it's not why you'd think. People really make me angry at times; even when it has nothing to do with me.  I will explain why it hurts so much to hear this, when I am done saying what I have to say about it currently... Someone posted a picture of a celebrity, one picture of when she was young, single, skinny and a current picture of her, chunkier, older (by 20 years)... the comments people were making were disgusting!!!  I don't know this person from Lilith; but I felt I needed to say something because this is a common occurrence in every day lide, and it is UNACCEPTABLE!!! I don't know what it is about people, in general, who feel they have the right to comment about the way people look. It's always, they are too skinny. They are too fat. They are lazy. They are too pale. They are this... they are that.  How about you just STFU!!  Have you ever thought that the person you are calling too s...
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A Tiny Word With Massive Impact

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Page 40 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you the day finds you all in good health. I know, it is Monday... so even for me, it is always a day that I may function at (maybe) 60%, at best. On top of it being a Monday, I have made some decisions that are a little bit out of character for me; BUT they are in the nest interest of my well-being and health. I am learning that this cute, two letter word, in the English language needs to start being my best friend, and a very BIG part of my vocabulary.  It is going to take a bit of getting used to, and it is going to disappoint some people in my life; but I have to look out for myself now. I am talking about the word, "NO!!!" I have a loud voice. I stand up to a lot of injustices I see happening to people in and around my circle. The problem is, a lot of those who see me doing this, have become reliant on me. I normally wouldn't have an issue with that; but these same people are NOT making any effort to help their situations ...
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When the Mind Plays Tricks

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  I know this is going to be more of a touchy subject. I have been struggling mentally lately. I mean, I am not having a mental breakdown, where I feel I need to go to the hospital and get an evaluation; but I have definitely been having episode after episode.  Every week I am snapping on my person. He takes the brunt of it. I really don't deserve someone like him in my life; but I am eternally grateful for him. I tell him this all the time; but there are truly no words that can express how true that it. I CAN admit that this week got me good. I got triggered soooo bad, that I actually contemplated swallowing as many pills as I could find. It wasn't an idle threat neither.  I honestly am so disappointed in myself. I haven't had suicidal thoughts or triggers in a very long time. It took me a couple days to get out of my head. I cannot really explain why I get stuck, and overthink... always the worst case scenario.  Am I the only one who does this??? It fkn sucks. I am...
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Book 3 Chapter Two, Page 37

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Page 37 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Happy FriYay!!! I don't know about you, but we are hunkering down for yet another fantastical snow storm. I don't mind. I love snow; I just really don't like having loved ones on the roads when they are shitty. Thankfully for most, it is the weekend and people are home; yet, I have some loved ones that have no choice and are working... it is them I worry about. The only crappy thing about the weather doing its shit is how it effects those of us who deal with excruciating pain and headaches from the change in barometric pressure.  It is a terrible thing; when your life and activities are based on Mother Nature's bipolar moods. I cannot speak for everyone; but when you are affected by both the high and low pressures; you are pretty much fuckered. I send out gentle hugs to everyone who has medical conditions that get much worse when the weather goes all funky. Am I the only one who is shocked at how fast this year is going already? So...
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One Down, Eleven More to Go

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Page 31 of 365. Last Page of Book One. Good Morning Lovies. Happy Saturday!!! I hope the day finds you well. If something is troubling you, I send you hugs and the most positive vibes out there. For those of you who are venturing out this weekend, I hope you have a great time.  Stay safe and please stay warm. I hope the weather cooperates with your travels. I will be staying in my comfy lil bubble. I feel like a dick for not committing more to my writing; but there hasn't been anything extremely important I need to g4et off my chest.  There is one topic that is always on my mind, so I feel I should talk about it; better to let it out than let it fester, right? I see this over and over, throughout my life. People with the biggest hearts are the ones who hurt the worst. They want to help the world, but that desire is taken advantage of by pretty much everyone in their life. It's almost like, they expect it of you when you are nice to them, even once. I call these type of people ...
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When The Toll Catches You

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Page 25 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. How are you today? For those of you who are in the area... please stay safe, and warm as possible; hell, just keep your grubbies on, cuddle under a blanket and watch a movie, or football (not footie).  I know, most of you are cussing out Mother Nature right now. I am sorry, that I can't hold the same sentiment as you.  I love snow. I am the weird one who likes the dreary rainy days over the hot sunny ones in the summer too.  MEH. It is what it is!!! I have a lot weighing on my mind; with probably even more weighing on my shoulders. I am scared about tomorrow. I don't believe in God, but I will be praying all day. It really isn't my story to tell; but I ask all my readers and followers to please send up positive/healing vibes out. It is deeply appreciated. Tomorrow is also the death date of my Uncle who passed away in 2018. He will always be close to my heart. My aunt would always tell me stories of when I was about 6 months old, I went...
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Sticks & Stones

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Page 23 of 365. Good Morning my Lovies. Happy Freyja/Frigga Day. The weekend is almost here, albeit we are in for a "hell has frozen over" one... but this IS Canada, and I AM CANADIAN!!!  So many people are complaining about the snow and the bitter cold we get when the Alberta Clippers come through; but we get a few of them every year... quit your bitchin' The past few days nearly broke me; I can't lie. It was one shit storm after another. The emotional and mental were causing physical to the point I was fairly certain I was going to have a hospital stay that wasn't gonna be a simple in-n-out kinda deal.  It's a terrible feeling when people know you have mental health disorders, and they purposely trigger you... it ALMOST broke me. YES, I cried. I got depressed. I got angry. Fuck, I got all the emotions, and my loved ones felt the brunt of it. The one thing these assholes were not counting on, is this...  THEY THOUGHT THEY WON, WHEN THEY SAW ME ON MY KNEES... ...
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Watch Your Words

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I really wanna talk about this topic because frankly, I am tired of hearing people forcing this ideology on others, when it is such a damaging comment. I believe I have touched on this subject before. I apologize if I have; but it seems we could use a refresher course on it. PLEASE STOP USING THE BASTARDIZED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL QUOTE ~ "Kin-blood is not spoilt by water". This was translated from German from Reinhart Fuchs c. 1180. It then became"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." in English proverbs in the 1700s. This literally means the polar opposite of you saying, "Blood is thicker than water".  The original meaning is, chosen relationships (covenant/sworn loyalties) are stronger than family ties (womb). I am sure people are going to comment that this is ridiculous and that blood ties are above everything. I am here to say, from personal experience, this simply is not true; saying this can be detrimental to some people...
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