I Got a Life to Live, Not a Life to Give!!!

 

I just got to giggle for a minute, because I am posting so much stuff on my mind today, that I just about called it "verbal diarrhea". LMFAO

I know, I have been preaching about how much I wil not allow negative things and negative people to change the way I love. I cannot nor will not change my big, ever loving heart... it's a part of me, and I will not give that up for anybody nor anything. 

The one thing that I have changed is this... I no longer am putting anyone before myself ever again. There is a very fine line between loving people and them taking all they can from you... I call those people "vampyres" because they don't just take any money you can give to them, they take all your energy and leave you so drained that you're not even sure you'd ever recover.

I have learned that once people (most people), see how giving you are, they will take and take until you are literally broke and broken... and I am simply refusing to give anyone that "power" over me ever again. I am not allowing the world to make me bitter and cold; but I will be much more selective of who I give my love and help to... it goes to the very people who I KNOW 100% are in my life, through good times and bad... those who have proven themselves... those who have loved, and continue to love me, even when I am at my lowest and so far down the rabbit hole, I cannot see their hands trying to pull me up.

I am in my 49th year, and it was just recently that I have decided to put myself first. Despite it feeling utterly selfish, thanks to the conditioning I had through the years; I am doing it regardless of what I think of me. It really took my son telling me that he is so proud of me for putting myself first, for the first time ever. I don't think y'all truly know how deeply that impacted me. I gotta give his dad a shout out for the way our son was raised... he did a great job.

Well, that is where I am at in life. When I say I have a life to live... I am not sure what that exactly entails. All I know, is that I don't have a life to give. I am unwilling to sacrifice my happiness for anyone again. I am rebuilding my life, one stone at a time... all those stones that have been thrown at me my entire life, are going to make a beautiful mansion for me and mine. So although this may sound really odd... I thank all of you who have done me wrong. The only thing you proved is that not only can I withstand the wind and the rain... I AM THE FKN STORM!!! and we all know how much I LOVE to dance in the rain and storms!!!

Hope it's a great one y'all. Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be loved. Stay blessed, my beautiful Lovies.

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