It's Time for the Change I've Needed...

 

This may be a bit of a weird, off the wall kinda of entry, but one that is necessary. I am going to give you a little bit of my history, so that you may understand (or not), as to the WHY?!!

I am going to be legally changing my last name. I currently go under my adopted last name, and there is so much pain associated with it that I feel it is time for me to cut all ties and just be me. I don't want a last name that only brings tears to my eyes when I hear it, or say it; let alone think it.

I have also decided I am not going to take on  the woman who spit me out's last name neither, because frankly, I never considered this person/thing to be any form of a "mother" to me. I really don't want the negativity associated with the name, nor do I want to "ride off" the name neither.

I know that it is not possible, but I truly wish I would have known my bio-father, because I'd like to think that I would have taken his last name and held it close to my heart. Again, it is a bit painful to think of using his name, not by any fault of his or my siblings, but because of that retched woman who spit me out... she denied me the chance of getting to know him and when I finally did find him, it was too late. I can say that something positive did come out of it, as I gained a sister. It just doesn't feel right to take on his last name and I wouldn't want to offend my siblings in any way.

So I have come to the decision that I am going to legally change my last name to my biological auntie's last name. There is nothing but love and positivity with her name, and she has never been anything but sweet and loving towards me. I feel this will be a positive step forward.

So truly maybe it was karma or the universe who caused this chain of events when my kid conveniently lost both my social insurance card and my birth certificate... maybe, just maybe, this is why I am at the forks in the road. For once, I am choosing ME!!! As selfish as it may sound, I NEED to do this for myself. I have talked about it for a long time, and now that the actual items are missing/gone... it is time to seal that chapter off and start that new chapter I am always thinking about.

Onward and Upwards my lovies.

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be loved.  Blessed Be everyone :)

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