Straight Talk!!!

Page 21 of 366. Hi y'all. I feel this is going to be a fairly short blurb, but an important one nonetheless.

As you will see over the course of time, and some things you already know; I have been very vocal about things in my life, even the painful ones. This post is more of an appreciation blurb.

I have been faltering a lot lately, some of my own messed up way of thinking and some from circumstances beyond my control. I just really need to let people know that those who have stood by my side, whether it has been decades of friendship, or brand new... I have been sooooooo thankful for you all being a part of my life.

To begin, I need to thank my best friend, who come hell or high water, he is going to be a straight shooter with me. He will listen to what is going on, but he is also firm in how he responds; something I appreciate more than anything. When I am in the depths of whatever hell I am enduring, there is nothing better than someone who is extremely blunt with you and pulls zero punches... THAT is who my best friend is. I can say he is someone I trust my life with, no doubts ever!

Then I have my brothers. We all come from various walks of life, but we have one thing very much in common. They don't pull any punches neither when it comes to my well-being, just as I am the same for them. I openly take accountability for "falling off" sometimes and I seem to retract into my own shell; something I really never thought of how it affects my loved ones when I break down and go radio silent. I have apologized before, but I am truly sorry for all the frustration and hurt I caused my loved ones, especially my brother/best friend. It took the past few months to REALLY see how much my brothers love me, and vice versa.

I have a few women who I would call my "sisters", who have been very strong when it comes to me and my mental health - even my physical health. Women who are warriors in their own rite. I am talking about the special women in my life, even those who I have recently met that feel like we have known each other forever, even learning new perspectives on old situations... I mean, I am NOT an easy person to deal with when shit hits the fan and I don't know how to cope. I love them to death and am eternally grateful for them.

Before I continue with this blurb of appreciation, let me explain something that I will continue to preach until there is no more breath within this body... When I talk about famILY, I am not referring to blood or adopted family. They are only there because of blood or obligation on a piece of paper... what I am talking about is famILY... the one we chose... the one that stands with us through fire and hailstorms... the one that will defend you in public, but correct you in private. If that makes sense... If you were to ask me, blood can be the most toxic thing in the world, and in my case, it is.

Lastly, I want to thank my beloved. Although he may not agree with things I do or say, he doesn't get rude or ignorant. He will get frustrated with me, but I think that mostly has to do with our varying life experiences. That is one of the things that makes him so special to me... although we have very different views on some things, we don't bash each other. This has been a rather interesting relationship, in the sense, that we are very open with each other. We have some pretty incredible intellectual conversations and to me, that is key... if your minds and souls don't align, there is no point in being in each other's lives.

Today, I will write this. I feel truly blessed. I had a very rough day yesterday and I am still unsure how to feel about it, but I can say that the best people in my life lifted me as I was slipping. Trust when I say that it has taken me forever to acknowledge how much I appreciate and truly grasp that they are not going anywhere and to me... THAT IS WHAT FAMILY IS ALL ABOUT!!!

PS. Thank you Viking, for standing by me through the tough shyt, including continuing to be my "next of kin" when it comes to all my medical stuff. I honestly hope that one day you will be able to look in the mirror and see what I see when I look at you... a loving, strong soul that also had to suffer a lot to get where you are today. I hope you take the time to take pride in what you have accomplished.

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed.  Much love to all you beautiful souls and I hope you have a great Sunday Funday!!!

Blessed Be.

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