I Am in a Mood Today !!!

Page 77 of 366. Good Day to all my Lovies... it is Sunday Funday!!! Although, I seem to be in a weird kind of funk today. I am not really sure what is triggering me today, but I literally didn't feel like leaving my bedroom. Usually I will venture into my living room, and obviously the kitchen; which I DID do today because I had a hankering for homemade fries.,,, and NO, I don't use an airfryer, I am an old school cook... oil on stove and away we go. I am now back in my bedroom and I feel like I did a month's worth of work in 10 minutes. Am I the only one feeling this way, these days???

I started working on my true crime blog and published one story that was divided into 3 blurbs; and I wanted to do more today, but as of this moment, I really feel like I have spent all my spoons and just need to rest. I've got laundry to do, but again, that means stepping out of my apartment, and I don't have the "spoons" for that today. It's not that I am feeling terrible, but I don't feel right... if that makes sense?!!

I don't know if I am feeling this way because of being an empath, and I simply don't know what to do with the feelings I have today; especially since they really aren't my own. IYKYK.

Maybe I am just losing faith in things, situations and people, and I don't know how to control the emotions. Like, I'll let you in on a little secret... I am what people like to call a "sensitive" and I am usually up for the challenge, but last night I felt like I was completely blocked and "off" from something that was occurring; turns out, I was pretty spot on. 

This should make me happy, no? It doesn't. I feel like I am losing my direction, yet my gifts are as powerful as ever... if not more so.

I know I am just babbling, but it's kind of like I am just a zombie, a drone, if you will... but I still have all the feelings and emotions people do... except I am masking them from everyone, and I truly don't know why.

Please don't get this twisted. I am not hopeless. I am not suicidal. I am just "off"... "diconnected" might be a better word for the moment. I feel like those whom I was once extremely close to have floated away, and now they are past arm's length, and it's breaking me. I have others who are my brothers; and I speak to them every day, which I am excessively grateful for; but I feel lost, and I don't know how to explain to them what I do not understand myself.

The incident with my daughter came flying back in my face last night, and that is nobody's fault. It is just a situation someone wanted to express to me that unfortunately involved that POS in her life. So maybe that dampered my mood a little. I truly DO miss my grandbaby.

A few other events happened over the course of the past couple days, but I feel it is not my place to share them as, for the most part, they are not my story to tell. So as it stands right now, I am going back to bed... and here is an FYI... if you can't be bothered reaching out to me on the regular... just stop talking to me please. I really don't feel like blowing up at any more people. I need peace in my life... not confusion, nor frustration. I'd rather just be alone than be this ball always being tossed back and forth.

Stay safe. Stay warm/cool. Be well. Be loved. Blessed Be my Lovies.

~Phoenix

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 17, 2024 at 1:54 PM

    Hey sweetie. You are probably feeling someone around you. Not In your home but someone might be pushing their energy out and being who you are you are receiving. Try to keep your mind on positive things and keep telling yourself these feelings aren't yours. Ttyl!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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