It Can't Rain All the Time!!!

 

Page 74 of 366. I sit here, trying to think of all the positives in my life; and I do see a lot of them. This is very rare for me, because I am usually under a dark cloud and feeling, in general, that I don't get what I give; and that's a very shitty feeling!!!

This is brought on by a conversation I was having with someone this morning. I have been cutting ties with people who only speak to me when it is convenient for them. For the first time EVER, I said "I deserve better than that!!!" and I mean it. I am no longer apologizing for things that aren't on me.

However, this blurb is more about what I am giving, rather then negative crap...

I try to be the beacon of light for so many people. I try to make them smile at their worst and laugh in the good times... I know, I don't always succeed, but that is my goal. My biggest flaw, as people tell me, is I love too much. I can spot a bleeding heart a billion miles away, and all I want to do is heal it. I don't need to know the story behind it, that is up to the person to tell me... I just want to comfort them.

I recently, as you all know stayed in a crisis center, when I couldn't even see a minute of time in front of me... I met some very damaged souls there, and I felt I could try to be there for them, even throughout my own crisis. You know, I love to cook, and I feel that food is a version of International love/language... kinda like music for the soul.

It was that very minor step on my part, of offering people food I was cooking that opened the door for communication amongst us peers. The more I cooked, the more others came out of their shells. Many have thanked me for the gesture; which to me, seemed so tiny but to them it was the "world" in that moment. This is my ONLY hope in this cruel screwed up world, is that I have someway made a person's day better. That they got to see that life is not entirely hopeless. That there IS another page to be written... if that makes sense.

I, myself, found some healing there too. I felt very alone and broken, taking everything in my life onto my shoulders, even when it was me who was wronged. I am not going to mention names, but there was someone there who was dealing with pretty much the same story, but roles were reversed. We leaned on each other and we talk everyday... They were so happy, and grateful, to see the world from a different perspective; as was I.

I'm going to end this blurb with this...

I am actually going to quote Eric Draven (performed by the late and beautiful Brandon Lee) from "The Crow" when he reminds a downtrodden Sarah (portrayed by Rochelle Davis) that, 

'IT CAN'T RAIN ALL THE TIME!!!"

There are a couple more quotes from this movie that are soooo on point, I feel I need to quote them here...

"IF THE PEOPLE WE LOVE ARE STOLEN FROM US, THE WAY TO HAVE THEM LIVE ON IS TO NEVER STOP LOVING THEM. BUILDINGS BURN, PEOPLE DIE, BUT REAL LOVE IS FOREVER."

'LITTLE THINGS USED TO MEAN SO MUCH TO SHELLY ~ I USED TO THINK THEY WERE KIND OF TRIVIAL. BELIEVE ME.... NOTHING IS TRIVIAL!!!"

And with that I bid you adieu. Stay safe lovies. Be well and be blessed, ML&R

~Phoenix