It's Hump Day ~ N I Don't Like It!!!

 

Page 150 of 366. Good Morning everyone. I am not sure how everyone is doing, but I hope the day treats you well. I, however, am in a bit of a funk. I had some good news healthwise yesterday and some other news that was quite pleasing to hear, but I am not going to write about that part as I don't want to seem petty and celebrate in what could be consider the misery of another. 

(This matter is to only be shared with my nearest and dearest as they were the ones who were here for when it was the toughest!!!)

Despite my nightly regime of medications, I had a very difficult night; which isn't the norm for me. Usually, I take my meds, chat a bit with beloved and I drift off to dreamland and tend to be out for a good night; but last night, although it started out as a good, heavy sleep, I ended up having several disturbing dreams. One in particular I would wake up, only to fall back into the exact same dream and continue. 

Normally, I am able to do lucid dreaming and switch what is happening in the dream to something much more pleasant, but last night I was robbed of that ability and truly stuck in my own version of "Groundhog Day"!!! I don't recommend it for anybody... UGH!!! It was one about my health, and although I heard a piece of good news about it yesterday, in my dream, that little bit of good news was overshadowed by much darker things to come; and I am truly hoping that all of this is not the case. I didn't change/alter my DNR for an outcome of what I foresaw.

Another thing that is weighing on my mind, is something I had told my brother a little while back. I had mentioned it to beloved too; but didn't go into as excessive detail as I did with my brother; but the things that are coming to fruition that I had stated are actually pretty spot on. 

You know when people learn that you have a "gift", they want to know things, but they only want to hear the good. They do not realize that it is as much of a blessing as it is a curse. Prime example, when you go to see a fortune teller, a seer or whatever you want to call them... psychic (even)... you go there with the intention of only hearing the good things in your life; most of the time, these people are not legit (I won't say all, but a lot of them are fake. I was brought up that you don't use your gift for money, as it is was a gift given to you; you should not profit off it!!!) 

Anyways, the point I am getting at is this... You want to hear things that make your heart swoon, or things that will give you peace of mind, or that there are only bright things in your future. People tend to forget that life is not all about light and love.... in order to see the light, there needs to be darkness. In order to appreciate the love and light, you need to endure the dark and unloving. Do you get what I am saying??? 

A very wise friend, who has passed on from this plane had explained to me once that no one is perfect, you want to know why??? They are cracked so that we may see the light from within.... no matter how dark their present life may be. (I am not quoting her word for word, but you are getting the gist of it!)

I am going to end this blurb here, as I am struggling today with words and thoughts. I am feeling rather wonky and I am not sure if it is from the lack of sleep, the nightmares, or the accuracy of things unfolding. Either way, I need to ease my mind; but first I need to go get my injection in my belly, so that I may continue to heal and live a somewhat productive life.. I am sure I will write again later today, Be blessed everyone

~Phoenix

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