It's That Time of Day!!!

 

Good Evening my beautiful Lovies. I have spent the early part of the evening enjoying the fresh air (well what would be consider fresh air in this concrete jungle we live in), chatting it up with some neighbours; it was the perfect night to do so.

Finished off the evening with taking my nightly concoction of medications that hopefully keep me here to celebrate another day. I am going to try and have an early night as I have a wonderful specialist appointment in the early morning... One I am not particularly looking forward to. 

Either they are going to give me decent news and keep me on the injectable blood thinners for another while, or I am going to have to see the vampyres who love take a dozen plus vials of blood from me... fkn blood suckers!!!

I have a funny feeling when they say the appointment is only 15 minutes, I am going to be stuck in the damn clinic for hours; and I am pleading with everything in me that I am not going to be forced back into the hospital, although I feel they should have never released me anyways; but wtf do I know?!! Their famous words are I am a "mystery patient" or that my body is very "abnormal"... well no fkn shyt MORONS!!!

It has been a weird-ish kind of day for me. I am missing talking to me beloved, I really need to hear him today. Although I understand the circumstances, it fkn sucks nonetheless!!! I am overly tired today, but in an odd kind of way. My chest has been hurting a lot today and breathing has been a bit of a challenge for me; but you won't see me telling anyone around me, as I don't want to put any more stress on them than what is absolutely necessary... 

Trust, when I say I am as stubborn as a mule when it comes to my health and it literally takes me to be at death's door before I willingly go to the hospital... people are learning this about me. I get that I am not well. I know that a lot of my conditions would have sent most people to the otherside already; but I feel it is my stubbornness that has kept me on this side of the veil for as long as it has.

I don't want to make this another post about my health, or whining about my ailments, so I just want to say that I am concerned about my appointment tomorrow; but I really have no one to lean on and talk to about this (at the moment) ... so it is what it is, until it isn't!!! 

That is my new motto... I am here, until I am not. It's all I got for tonight.

Stay well. Stay safe. Be blessed. Be loved.

~Phoenix

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