You Can't Fight Fate...

 

Good evening peeps!!! I hope you all got to enjoy this beautiful May day... even if it started out stormy, which I wish it lasted all day and night. Nothing more sensual than a beautiful thunderstorm in the middle of a lazy afternoon; if you're home with your fave person (notice the "if"). I would get more explicit, but I am trying to be I don't know... more "ladylike"??? 

Who the hell am I kidding?!! 

Storms are erotic and they are a huge turn on to some people, and I happen to be one of those people. I also find a good rain to be cleansing and grounding. I love nothing more to dance barefoot in the grass, dancing freely as the raindrops trickle down my skin. Yes, I may be weird, but at least I am honest about it AND fully embrace it. Can you say the same???

I sit here tonight, after a great dinner at my sister's. I am still trying to cope with the brutal injections I have to take into my belly every day... they are nothing like the insulin ones I am supposed to be taking 4 times a day in the belly as well... for someone who is terrified of needles (and I mean, fkn squirrelly scared), I sure have to deal with a lot of them. FFS!!!

It's a quiet night, as in, there is no crap happening in the ghetto thusfar (let's knock some hardwood on that one). I have my kittens Draco and Karma laying on either side of me, while I take to writing again. I have the music cranked, listening to some 80's rock (Screw you if you don't like 70s and 80s music!!!) LOL. I have so many things twisted in my mind that I do not even know what to write about first, so I am going to apologize now if things are going to come out jumbled and there are like 20 entries today. I need to make up for the time I missed being hospitalized.

I wanna write about something that is so deep in my soul that I need to let it out before I go nutso. Flat out, whoever said that "distance makes the heart grow fonder" sure as fuck has NOT been in any type of relationship; let alone a long distance one. They are NOT for the weak hearted, let me tell ya! I mean, I can and have been in a relationship years ago, that began with him living an hour and half away from me; but I made the trip by train on the regular and things quickly became clear that we needed a place for us to call ours and we did just that; until the day he passed on from this plane. 

Being with someone who is seven and a half hours DRIVE away is hard, even on a good day; it is definitely only for the strong-willed, and those truly dedicated for the long haul. I don't know anyone who would openly choose to have half their heart be that far away, let alone in another country!!! But what was that quote in the movie 'LAW ABIDING CITIZEN", where Gerard Butler (as Clyde Shelton) gets his justice on the murderer and rapist of his wife and daughter??? Oh yah...

"YOU CAN'T FIGHT FATE!!"

Loving someone, truly loving someone is like that. We don't choose who we love. I mean, sure we attempt to by their looks, their attitude, their voice, all that crap; but it is none of that which matters. It is the souls who recognize each other and THAT is where fate and destiny lie... there is no changing that; and to be honest... I wouldn't change it, even if I could. They don't call me a "warrior" for nothing!!!

Until then, stay safe. stay cool. Be well. Be blessed, but most of all, be loved you beautiful souls!!!

~Phoenix

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