I Lost a Few Days

 

Page 157 of 366. Hi everyone. It seems I have not written in my blog in a few days. I do have to apologize; time has been at a stand still for me, or more like I lost a few days.... literally!!! I do not have any idea what has happened between the 1st and today.

This happens to me from time to time, and to be frank, it is very frightening to me. Nothing could have been "too off" as I know I had checked in with those involved with my safety plan. 

I know I packed away my meat order from the butcher, into the freezer because the meat is all there.

I must have gone shopping at some point because I have other stuff in the house that you can't get at the butcher's... so WTF???!!!

When I forget things that I have been doing for several days, it freaks me out. It's like my brain kicks into auto-drive and the rest of the brain literally shuts down. I am racking my brain now trying to remember even the remotest thing, anything that might trigger a memory, but I got nothing; and that is very worrisome.

It also triggers the PTSD I have from being roofied... and that is the last place I want to go in my mind. I KNOW that is not what happened. I am beginning to believe that either one of the blood clots has travelled to my brain OR my erratic blood sugars are causing my brain to simply shut down... either thing is VERY frightening to me; especially since I am alone in my home the majority of the time. 

(No, I am not blaming anyone.... we are hoping to rectify this situation as soon as we can ~ easing mine and his mind!!!)

For now I am going to throw on some useless, boring TV show and hope that I can catch some ZZZZ's. Stay safe everyone. Be well and Be loved!!!

~Phoenix

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