Is it Really Monday???

 

Page 205 of 366. Hi Lovies. Oddly for a Monday, I am in a decent mood... it is Monday, right??? Don't burst my bubble, if I am wrong LOL... I am not entirely sure what has put me in this headspace, but I will take it. 

I mean, I know certain events that have transpired in the past 24 to 48 hours that have not only shown me quite a bit of my own personal growth, (shown by the trust in me), but it has definitely shown me that my heart, head and gut are all aligned in their senses.

As you know, I am not one to say names, and this is another blurb in which that rule applies to. I CAN reveal that I kept to the promise I made to myself that I would take time for myself to heal after my last relationship. 

I really was first, not going to project the BS that went on from that one into a new relationship; and I think for the most part, I have been doing okay on that part. I am human after all and I slip from time to time. Here is where the personal growth comes in. I acknowledge it (maybe not in the moment, but I DO acknowledge it and own up to my misgivings and apologize).

The second thing I had promised myself was I would break the cycle and NEVER go back to the type of "men" I have always gotten involved with. Clearly, they are not my type and what's even more evident is, the life was not making me happy. When I was ready to open my heart again, I wanted it to be to someone who was nothing like I had known before. I have so much love to give, and I really deserved a real good man; one who appreciated my love and reciprocated it. 

Let's face it, society has taught men that they are supposed to be tough, not show their feelings, not to be emotional nor show that they too are vulnerable... Fuck, they're human, just like us women. (And society wonders why there is a month that is solely dedicated to men's mental health... first you tell them to suck it up, then walk it off; feelings are for wuzzies!!!) 

Nah, I don't need a man who is never going to open up to me, or express his love and disappointments. When you are partners with someone, you are supposed to be able to share everything ~ good and bad. If I wanted to be with a "soldier", I'd be with the same old type I have always been with. 

I feel the narrative in this world needs to change... Yes, men are masculine, but that doesn't mean they have to be assholes and brick walls to their partners. It doesn't mean that they should bottle up their feelings, or what they're dealing with. You are partners for a reason and us women have shoulders to help carry the heavy loads too, you know?!!

After all this babbling, I am going to end this blurb with this... people know that I have a tribe, and I have a few people I am extremely close to. People that have my loyalty 100%, in this life and beyond the grave; but the beautiful thing is my heart, mind, and soul fully understood recently is that, I am actually someone's PERSON. I cannot express how much of an honour that one word means. How sacred it is. All I gotta say, it's a beautiful thing.... onward and upwards. I am soooo grateful universes collided.

Stay safe. Stay cool. Be well. Be blessed. Much love and respect.

~Phoenix