I Feel I've Been Too Negative Lately.....

 

Page 288 of 366. Good Evening Lovies. I wanted to add an entry tonight before I went to sleep because I feel I may have been wandering a little too deep into the negative side of life as of late. I don't like that; even though I think my points were valid, I do not wish to remain in that kinda state of mind... I prefer to live within positivity as much as possible!!!

A good place to start would be to talk about the things that I am thankful for, as we are drawing closer and closer to the end of 2024. Ironically, today is the International Day of Respect for Cultural Diversity... I much prefer to use this term than what a lot of people are calling today... so that is what I shall forever call October 14th, from now on :)

I want to begin with how much I absolutely love my children. If there is anything I did right in this world, it would be my kids. I was not a perfect mother by far; I did the best I could with the tools I had... I loved them, even when I fell short on a lot of necessities. I do not want to dwell on the past, even if it still effects the present. 

Relationships, no matter who they are with, come with ups and downs. I have openly admitted that being blood related, doesn't always make you family AND you can love someone without liking them... I only wish the best for my kids (and my grandchildren). I hope they have a beautiful life and obtain everything they reach for. We may not be on speaking terms, or in each other's lives on a consistent basis; but that doesn't change a mother's love!!! Just remember that you are amazing beings and your accomplishments are just that... YOURS!!! 

I am very grateful and blessed for the friends that have become famILY to me. You have all been my backbone when I thought I couldn't move an ounce; when I literally felt like there was nothing left to give and couldn't take one more step. You all stood by me through my lowest, and have celebrated me at my highest. I don't think you all understand how important you are to me. I don't speak highly of a lot of people... I actually don't have a lot of use for many people in my life; I always find that the more people in your life, the more drama and BS comes with it. I prefer simple and care-free. I love all you beautiful souls and appreciate you beyond words.

My best friend... what can I truly say about you??? You have pulled me out of some pretty dark spaces and rabbit holes, by not babying me. You have been straight up, honest (sometimes too honest and harsh), but you know that is exactly the way things need to be as I am not an easy woman to deal with. I am strong-willed and stubborn as an ox, but somehow you have always been able to reach the inner core most people do not even get to see. You are about the only one who knows the worst of the worst and your loyalty and trust has been unmatched. You are one of a kind and I am the luckiest chick in the world to have you!!!

My beloved... when our worlds collided it happened at one of the worst times in both our lives. Somehow the universe knew it was time to challenge that which we knew compared to what we believed in. Life lessons and perceptions have grown and been altered. My world has become a brighter place with you being in it. You are the ice to my flame; the calm to my storm; the moon to my sun. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the universe and everything in it for bringing you into my life. You have and are teaching me things that blow my mind daily... and to me, that is one of the best qualities in a person... knowledge and the gift of sharing it. Thank you for being you; please do not change a single thing!!!

At the end of all of this, I want to just say... I am thankful for the life I have been given... challenges and all. I will never regret the things that have happened in my life. I will never want to change a second of what I have been through because to even alter a moment in time, would be to have changed who I am today... and I happen to love the woman I am... flaws and all. I am perfectly imperfect... a "BEAUTIFUL DISASTER", if you will. I am me, and me alone. I am unique!!! Why would I want to be anyone else???

Have a great night all. Be blessed.

~Phoenix

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's a Hide Under the Covers Kinda Day

Image
Page 14 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I really, really hope your day is going better than mine!!! Sorry, woke up at the asscrack of dawn, as I had a doctor's appointment this morning.  Thankfully it was with my family doctor; appointments with him are fairly painless.  Today, however; things kinda went sideways.  I am usually in and out within 10 mins for these appts, but today? I was there for over 45 minutes. Of course, it didn't help that I was puking maroon blood in the office. I know, I don't share a lot of my medical nor really personal stuff on here, but just so you're aware, this has been happening daily since end of May/beginning of June last year. I am what they call an "anemic blood clotter" which I didn't think was possible, but apparently it runs on the paternal side of my family. Anyways, that was the main focus of my visit after that. My stomach medication is being switched AGAIN, this time I am being set up with an antibiotic (which is cra...
Read more

FFS I Matter Too!!!

Image
Good evening lovies. I have been struggling with something that is very close to my heart. I truly do not know where to proceed next. I'm going to try and make a very long story as simple as I can... I was adopted at 5months of age, (well apprehended at 5 months, adopted at 5 years). There is something that adoptees yearn for all their lives... WHY?  I know for me there were many questions and on my 19th birthday it appeared I was going to get those answers when I met the woman who birthed me. Unfortunately, I was sorely mistaken!!! Years went by, and I allowed this woman to have control over certain things that were weighing heavily on my heart, She held the one piece of the puzzle that felt missing from my heart... who my biological father was?!! I, one day decided that I wasn't going to allow another person have that kind of control over me... EVER!!! I left the situation alone. I struggled deeply. I was literally at war with myself. on this topic. In a way, I felt guilty th...
Read more

Tis the Season.... Why I Am Proud of Local Tattoo Shop!!!

Image
  Page 307 of 366. Good Afternoon Lovies. I am not sure how long this blurb is going to be; as it seems to be a topic I have been beating to death this past year. I know it is the time of the year where we switch from Halloween/Samhain into Thanksgiving (in the US) to Yule/Christmas season.  I hate pointing out this fact, but people seem to feel like Christmas time is the only time of the year that they should be charitable...  Is it out of guilt that you are donating, or is it because you genuinely feel you should be helping people??? I AM sort of calling you out because this is NOT the only time of the year that the homeless, or the downtrodden need help. I cannot stand that this is around the only time you will see non-stop commercials/ads or billboards that are asking for help with various charities; also the time we see commercials about driving under the influence. WHY IS THAT??? Driving under the influence is a year-long problem... I will not get into details about...
Read more