You Tried and Failed

 

Page 287 of 366. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you all are enjoying your long weekend... I know it is a long weekend here in Canada and also in the United States, other than that, I am not sure where else in the world you would have an extra day off. 

Today, is turkey day for me; but I will NOT be calling this day "Thanksgiving" because I know the dark, sinister meaning behind this day... that which is not taught nor written in history books... so I am just going to enjoy a nice meal with friends and be thankful for being alive and that there is still breath in my body.

I am going to write about something that happened to me overnight, and as per my own values and morals, I will not be mentioning any names; but this dumb fuck is going to know exactly that I am talking about him.

(Yes, this time you will know their gender because of the context of the conversation!!!)

I am not going to "toot" my own horn here. I have a very kind heart, and I will forever be this way; anything people throw at me is not going to change my inner core... no matter how bitter they are. They will however learn that I will love, love and love until I don't!!! (This is exactly what occurred last night). Someone I know from my past had been dealt a heavy blow when his father had died; even though I had not seen the person in approximately 28 years, I reached out because I respected his dad and really liked his father. 

So YES, with pure intentions I reached out every day with, "You good?" I would chat with him to see how he was doing; but he became so depended on the messages, that if I didn't do it daily, he'd become belligerent towards me. It was a form of manipulation that I have seen and dealt with various times in my life; but was choosing to ignore it for a time as I knew he was grieving.... until last night...

So, the day before things were as usual, except he was being more persistent than usual and I really wasn't having any of it. I ignored his calls and messages, to the point that I muted his calls/messages on facebook messenger because I was not feeling good and the disrespect was on a level I wasn't going to tolerate. I didn't want to say anything out of anger... Let's just call it "personal growth".

Welllllllll, let's just say the personal growth went out the window when the disrespect continued into yesterday and into the middle of the night, so wee hours of the morning, this morning....

This guy was going out yesterday with his sibling and company to a city close to where I live, and he offered to come by and take care of me... Please keep in mind that I have not seen this person in 28 years. I am a very private person. I am sick and I love my own bubble. I have people who take care of me and check on me every few hours, and I am kind of a stickler for routine... nevermind the fact that I have my beloved. 

I was patient and kind enough to thank him for the offer but I am already well taken care of. AGAIN, he got ignorant with me, saying I was rude as fuck and bye... blocking me (only to unblock me a couple hours later). He sent me another message where I reiterated that I was being sincere in thanking him for the offer. He then proceeded to call and call, and call some more, right up until 1:45 in the morning... at which point he said, "I THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRUGS!" "I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS UP THERE AND YOU REJECTED ME TO SEE YOU!"

Yah, ummm no, nada, nope, not taking any more shit... This is the point where I say when I am done... I AM DONE!!! I replied with...

"I'VE GOT A DRUG PROBLEM? I'VE NEVER TOUCHED DRUGS IN MY LIFE. ENJOY LIFE. THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU'RE GOING TO INSULT ME. I AM FUCKING SICK, YOU HAVE ZERO CLUE BECAUSE ALL YOU WANNA DO IS GET YOUR ROCKS OFF. I'M IN THE HOSPITAL WEEKLY DEALING WITH MEDICAL SHIT; OR AT A DOCTOR GETTING TREATMENT. I DON'T DO DRUGS, NEVER HAVE. I DON'T DRINK... FUCK I DON'T EVEN SMOKE CIGARETTES. GO TAKE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR JUDGMENTAL ASS. BE GRATEFUL YOU'RE HEALTHY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!"

I am absolutely fed up with this person. I have cut ties with them. They have disappointed me; but people like this one will never break my spirit. There are soooo many shitty people in the world, I don't want to be another one; I like being a beacon in the darkness in someone else's life (If I can)... because I most certainly know what it is like to be so far in the dark, you don't even know which way is up any more...

To end this off... I kinda want to thank this person for doing what he did because he just gave me a reminder than I have a backbone and I truly do not have to put up with any form of disrespect. The last person who disrespected me, got a punch in the head AFTER I vowed to myself I would never allow another person to do what has been done to me... and I meant it!!!

Please remember who you are and what you deserve... treat people accordingly; but also do not allow pitiful, negative people to change you or drag you down to their level. Stay as the beautiful, loving souls that you are!!!

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be loved.

~Phoenix

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