One of Those Kinda Days...

Page 335 of 366. Good Evening Lovies. WOW. I don't think I ever wrote at this time for a blurb. I guess it's because I haven't really been in the right mood to write about anything specific, nor has there been anything that has gotten me soooo twisted that I needed to write the thoughts out to figure out what was necessary for my mind to settle!!!

It has been bit of a yo-yo week with my emotions but nothing that was brought on by any one specific thing ~ between my birthday and the American celebration of their Thanksgiving, it has brought a lot of "unnecessary" emotions out of me.

I feel it's as though I have changed what the day means to me, both the Canadian and the American one. I do NOT agree with their origins. I don't know how anyone, in their right mind can consciously sit at a table and feast, KNOWING the history of the days and their true sinister meanings. Instead of following the traditions set out for these holidays; I prefer to make my own...

I prefer to sit with my loved ones, as we sit at a table and each one of us takes our time to say what they are thankful for throughout the past year; no matter how minor it may seem to another, it could be a monumental event to the one sharing it.  

Now, please don't get me wrong... I don't need a particular date to be thankful for all the people and events in my life; but if we are going to set aside a specific day we are going to be thankful for... THIS IS WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR... NOT the history of why white man created it in the first place...

Regardless of how I personally feel about the day, and its atrocious, despicable, disturbing history. I am grateful for the people  I have, the roof over my head, the food in my belly, and for the love I am given ~ the love I  feel to my very core. To me, there is NOTHING more precious than that... and I have it, so my heart is full. I lack for nothing.

I guess I am leaving you all more confused than when I began this blurb, and quite frankly, I don't know why I am writing tonight neither. I just know that I have waves of uncertainty in my life... waves of fear and then ways of confidence; but in the end, I have and know, down to my very core, people who have weathered many storms with me and I never want them to feel like they go unnoticed. 

I have others who are still new to my life, that see the tempest I can be... they've seen me weak, they've see me strong. They've seen me vulnerable but they have also witnessed me being the strongest  I have ever been.... The point being... they STAYED!!! It's those people who I will forever keep in my life. The ones I trust with my life. All I know is that these people, friends, famILY are the a huge part of my life and give me joy. Simple and happy... all I need.

~Phoenix

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