Page 329 of 366... Tough Day Mentally!!!

 

Good Evening Lovies. I know it is late in the day for me to be writing. It's be a rather lazy day for me. To tell the truth, days like these are NOT really good for me. 

I get stuck in my head... like REALLY stuck in my head. I am a brutal overthinker, and I take a lot of things personal. 

I struggle when the universe shows signs that maybe, once again, the one person who fills my heart, who challenges me, has incredible intellect and is my rational thinking when I am on the brink... is going to walk away, or pulled away from me... 

I am beginning to really believe that I am not allowed to be happy in this life. I can be the beacon of hope for others. I can help lift them up; show them love and show them what beauty they have within, no matter how broken they feel... their souls speak volumes!!! BUT when it comes to myself... the universe gives me a little taste of what I encourage in others and takes it away from me. 

Maybe I am reading too much in the universe, or maybe I simply am too empathetic, and the universe is trying to teach me a lesson, by taking away everything and everyone I care about ~ forcing me to be strong and learn that this life is to be one of solitude ???? I don't fkn know anymore :(

All I know right now, is I am feeling down in the dumps and I am desperately trying to keep the tears from flowing. FUCK IT!!! Who cares anyways?!!

~Phoenix

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