I Am a HUGE Advocate BUT...

I know this entry is going to peeve some people off, but I write in my blog to voice my opinion. I do NOT expect everyone to agree with me, because frankly if everyone in the world agreed on everything, it would be a very boring place. Just know I respectfully can agree to disagree, but I will NOT tolerate ignorance. 

That being said, this is my topic...

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I am a HUGE advocate for mental health disorders, chronic pain, auto immune disorders, etc. 

This is what I am discussing today. It's going to be a controversial one though, and does NOT pertain to anyone specific!!!

As many of you know, I am adopted; what you may not know, is the reasoning behind it. 

From the biological side, the woman who birthed me (Spat me out, for lack of better words), had left me alone in an apartment for 3 days, when I was 5 months old before the police found me. Yes, I was near death. I had pneumonia in both my lungs, and had it not been for my 3 year old brother, who was feeding me sugar water; I probably would have been found dead. 

On my biological paternal side, my dad never knew of my existence; so I cannot place any blame on him, and from what I am learning from my bio-sister, I know he would have loved and cared for me. On the adopted side, my mother had a hysterectomy when she was young, due to endometriosis (something that is also genetically in my family); so her and my father adopted 4 children.

(That's the long story short!!!)

I am hoping this explanation will help you understand where I am coming from as I write this entry. I am extremely open about my own struggle with mental health disorders; what I have never really verbally expressed is this... Had my disorders been soooo prominent when I was at the age I had my children, I don't think I would have had them.

Don't get it twisted!!! I am not saying that I regret having my children. I am saying that I would never want to subject any child to witness nor endure the mood swings, the unknown, the emptiness and the inability to function days that I have now. I KNOW they already dealt with that as they got a little older; especially my daughter.

I guess what I am saying is I understand the "My body. My choice" stance to a certain extent. 

(Love me or hate me. I AM going to speak my truth!!!)

If you, as an adult, suffer from mental health disorders that already make your life very difficult to live day-to-day; why on earth would you want to subject a child/newborn to that???

Hear me out... YOU know what it's like to be drowning in confusion. YOU know what it's like to feel emotions and not know why you do. YOU know what it's like to suddenly want to end your life, but not what triggered it. YOU may argue with loved ones and actually not understand the WHY at all. I can't say, if you were in your "right frame of mind" than you would know better; because that is kind of redundant. 

I feel with all my heart and being, that if you are seriously dealing with any mental health disorder that is not either under control, closely monitored by a doctor and you not taking accountability as a mature adult does... (Trust me, I can't stand when people use that as an excuse for their bad behaviour)... than you have NO business bringing a baby into this world. It's selfish and irresponsible!!! 

People who are that ill, their doctors should make sure they cannot go beyond the usual means to have a baby. I mean, yes, people get pregnant all the time, but if it is going to take medical help to conceive, than I think the responsible thing is for the patient's doctor to inform whichever specialist the patient wants to see that it is ill advised. We have sooooo many children in the fostercare system. We have children living in poverty. Children living on the streets. Children being abused, or dying from all of the above. This world is soooooo fkd up, who really wants to bring a wee babe into such a shitshow???

As for the "My body. My choice" stance... I will save my other opinion of that another day. I think this is enough for today on this subject. I implore people to really consider what they are doing when thinking of having a baby, maybe the laws need to be reviewed. I am NOT saying ALL people who have mental health disorders should NOT have children.

I firmly believe those in the medical field really need to step up when it comes to things like fertility clinics and IVF, surrogates, etc when it comes to those who suffer from these disorders and refuse to seek real help, because what happens after they have a baby, and they have an episode... an episode of whatever their illness is???

Just my  2 cents!!!

~ Phoenix