Connections Say it All

Page 39 of 365. 

Good Morning (?) my Lovies. I hope you all had an awesome Friday night and a fantabulous weekend awaits you!!! Don't ask me why I am up at this ungodly hour... my insomnia is in full-force and I really don't have a person I can talk to at this god-forsaken time.

Do you ever have soooooo much on your mind that you almost wish you could literally hit your head so you'd finally get some REAL sleep, even if it IS maybe a coma or being unconscious???

It's a legit question to all my fellow insomniacs!!!

I don't think I have felt this physically exhausted in over a year. I mean, I haven't had to use my walker, or anything like that recently, but it damn well feels like I should be!!! I have been having "freebies" (IYKYK) for the past few weeks, and they are getting worse by the day. Trust, I am following the doctor's instructions when he jokingly said, he'd rather I get familiar with the walls and not the floor... 

Sorry, I found that comment super funny; but maybe because laughter is so much better than crying!!!

I have good in my life, like REALLY good! I'm not revealing shit, but let's just say that people who know me... those in my utmost inner circle, are virtually "smacking me in the head"... apparently I have been very oblivious and ignorant; wearing blinders on for years. I continue to remind people with these words... I am broken, but I am not destroyed... it'll make sense to those who truly know me; especially those who helped glue the pieces back together.... 

(Thank you for NOT gluing my heart on my sleeve!!!).

All I truly know, is the sparkle is back in my eyes, my imagination and creativity have emerged. My passion for the insatiable is back with a vengeance ~ and I fkn love it. I continue to walk the walk, and talk the talk... that will never change. I stand tall in my convictions and my self-esteem is the highest its ever been ~ there's no way I'm giving ANY of this up!!! 

I truly wish I can divulge more, but it's not the right time, nor the right place. Like I've noted before, some people are simply in your life to wish you ill-will; and I am NOT going to give them that satisfacation. This beautiful thing is all MINE!!! Don't like it??? 

Deuces Bitches!!!

~ Phoenix

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