Tis Life

Page 56 of 365.

Good Morning Lovies. It's "Taco Tuesday"... oh how ironic!!! It's been a good morning. I actually feel accomplished. 

Got lots of legal stuff out of the way AND filed and sent in my taxes to the government.... YUPPP. I'm killing it today LOL

I should say "is it only Tuesday?" because the past few days have been A LOT for me. Yesterday was a bit of a "slap in the face" for me... but I'm rolling with it!!!

(I acknowledge it has been difficult for others too).

I have been talking a lot about women coming forward with their own stories of abuse, in one form or another; and I fully intend to expose a major story in the next few days. Today, however, I am back to my own story...

Yesterday, I got an email regarding my situation with the guy here who has sexually harassed and assaulted me. I don't care what he claims when I actually have proof and witnesses. Apparently, the corporation finally wants to have a sit down, after their initial review of my "concerns". I have agreed to the meeting, but rest assured, I am not stupid. I don't walk into such things alone, nor ill-prepared.

I am NOT crawling under a rock. I am NOT cowering to the massive corporation. I am NOT giving up this fight. The facts are simple. It truly is sad that in this day and age, the word "NO", is still not comprehended. I don't know whether it is the "N" or the "O"... or maybe it's the English they don't comprehend... either way, I stand tall!!!

Don't get it twisted. I am not saying I am invincible... none of us are. I struggled with what was happening for a while. I placated it for a while, as I didn't really know what to do, or how to handle it. My sister and Ma were my haven. I was hiding out from  my own home, yet he'd occasionally text me, and i'd give short blunt answers. It seems stupid now, but my mindset back then was not in a good way. 

I hid at people's places for months when he was around the building. I became severely depressed. I didn't feel safe in my own skin... my bubble had been compromised... until the day, a few co-workers of this man encouraged me to tell my story. THAT was my first step... a fkn scary one, but a step none the less. 

Honestly, at the end of the day, it bothers me more that when I spoke to legal about it, they already knew who I was talking about.... so this means, it's not the first time they were hearing stuff like this about him. This brings me back to the blurb the other day, about how I kept my mouth shut over that bar owner who roofied me, and a couple years later, I meet another one of his victims.... the guilt of feeling if I had just spoken up, maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have fallen prey to him. 

THIS FELT LIKE THE EXACT SAME SCENARIO!!! (This time, I was the prey).

NO MORE!!! I WILL NOT COMPLY. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED. I STAND TALL.

~ Phoenix

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