What Do I Do With This???

Good Evening Lovies. I hope you are having a great time, with whatever you are doing... If you are resting, I hope you have a blissful sleep with the sweetest of dreams. It has been a rather quiet day, other than paying some bills and doing a bit of grocery shopping. Ohhhh, I decided to switch it up a bit and dyed my hair, even splurged and replaced my evil eye necklace, that was broken by the MRI tech when I was in the hospital last. 

I was just sitting here, thinking. It's been quite a few years since I have been able to say, "I feel peaceful. I feel loved (genuinely loved, without conditions)... do you know how rare that is??? I have all this craziness happening around me, with my health, with my adopted family, with my biological family (not including my baby sister) and a few other beings... 

Yet I somehow have found my zen. I like to call this "karmic" as I have put so much effort into making sure everyone around me was good for sooooooo long; often putting myself in dire straits. Karma or the Universe, whichever you call it, seems to be finally gifting me back what I have put out there. I humbly accept this. It is scary at moments because I am definitely not used to being loved, purely and simply. 

I am not used to things just falling into place... although, if I looked back on things, I always had the unconditional love and "my person" with me. I was just too consumed with all the negativity, I really couldn't see past the dark cloud. I just had to giggle here because I am often called a "vampyre", and I love darkness; yet the light was what was missing.

I am babbling now. I just sit here a bit confuzzled because like I said, I am at peace and content. I finally KNOW where my life is headed and for once, I am perfectly okay with how it is unfolding. I have a new sense of "belonging" and it's a sweet, humbling feeling.

May you all have a great night. Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed, but most of all Be LOVED.

~ Phoenix

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