The Worst They Can Say is "No"...

 

Page 82 of 365.

Good Day Lovies. I hope y'all had a great weekend. It's been a rather quiet one here, so was able to bang out a few blurbs here and on my crime blog. Being sick is shitty, but if something productive comes out of that down time; not all is lost... and I'll take it!!!

I am just going to babble about a subject today. I wanna discuss relationships... on ALL levels.

I know I talk a lot about my famILY, and one question that I am asked on the regular is how can men and women be friends without there being any sexual tension? First, I grew up around mostly guys, and the ones that I consider famILY and my brothers; that would be icky. We very much view each other as siblings... nothing more, nothing less. So I can with absolute confidence say that it is very possible for men and women to be JUST FRIENDS!!!

I guess that would also depend on how people grew up. I grew up a product of my environment. I was a street kid at a very young age; but thankfully I was lucky enough to have guardians (for lack of a better word), who guided me through life. I learned the ol school ways, and I remain that way to this day. 

Let's discuss the difference between my famILY (tribe) and my friends...

I have people I call "friends" and I love them, I would defend them if needed; BUT if they were to say or do anything that was against my famILY, I have ZERO problem cutting them off. My loyalty is strong and ONLY to my famILY... people who consistently shown me that they have my back as much as I have theirs.

We then have acquaintances, people we know, we can socialize with them, but they are definitely NOT part of the inner circle. These tend to be people who have loose lips; you know the ones... they talk smack about everyone and everything to you, and ABOUT you. We sometimes keep them around to find out if there are any snakes who have slid their way into places they shouldn't be.

Let me talk about best friends... I had a woman who was my best friend since we met each other in grade 9, she was 14 and I was 13. We had been through a lot of shyt together, even sharing similar situations, like me being adopted and her being in fostercare. We maintained that friendship for decades. I truly felt I had a friend that was my sister til death... until a few years ago. 

I began to realize I loved the girl she was, and had no love for the woman she became. I couldn't understand how we ended up so different. Obviously, I am not going to divulge all the details because even though we've had our falling out and are no longer close... Hell, I don't think we are even in the same orbit... I would never betray her trust and reveal anything she told me in confidence. THAT'S just how loyal I am... Maybe to a fault?

My true 1 million percent best friend has been through it with me. Our friendship spans over decades too. We are the most loyal to each other, some may say to a fault; but I don't care what they say. I will forever have his six, as he does mine. At one point, some people would TRY to deter the friendship, often saying some shitty things about one or the other... this is where I have to question if people even know the true definition of loyalty, respect, honour, trust and love???

This all leads up to a convo I had last night with someone...

This person is the opposite of me, in the sense that most of his friends are females; something I fully understand. I made a comment that maybe he should see where things lead with one of them, not really knowing the full situation; but knowing her opinion and love meant a lot to him. He immediately felt I was like everyone else when it came to male/female friendships... which was the farthest thing from my mind. 

My only thought was, see where she stood... the worst she could say is "NO", and they'd still have what they have now. Am I wrong??? If you don't ask, nor share your own feelings with someone, how are they to know... and how sure are you that they don't feel the same?!! Take a leap.

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed> Most of all Be LOVED!!!

~ Phoenix