When You're Not Enough

 

Page 86 of 265.

Good Morning Lovies. I hope you all have a fantabulous Thor's Day. I am having a decent morning; simply trying to keep my chin up. Don't get it twisted, I am not in a bad mood. I am once again, kind of indifferent. If you haven't caught on by now, I am the type of woman who isn't completely happy if anyone in my tribe/famILY is in need or hurting. It aches my heart tbh.

In the group, that I used to consider family, I was considered the "mama" of the tribe, which isn't shocking because I am very much the mamabear. I was the one who ALWAYS made sure everyone was taken care of... this was of the utmost importance, way above my own needs and wants.

Over the years, I have learned that I cannot put myself last. If I am not taking care of myself, I am of no use to others. I struggled with this for a VERY long time because I felt that was selfish. It took a lot of patience and love from one particular person to drill this into my head for me to truly grasp it.

I guess what I am trying to say is that currently I am struggling with the fact I cannot be "enough" for the situation at hand. That is not saying I am not enough for this person, it simply means the lesson I am struggling with is NOT being able to fix everything. I am a fixer and a healer; right now, neither of them can solve what is going on. My only hope is that my love, support and unconditional loyalty will let them know whatever they're dealing with, they are stuck with me.

I am fluent in silence. I love the dark; hell, my own doctor calls me a "VAMPYRE". I have broad shoulders. I am a great hugger and most of all, I am a great listener and loyal to a fault. WOW, after writing all that, I believe everything can be conquered, as long as people don't give up on each other... and I will NEVER give up!!!

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be LOVED.

~ Phoenix

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