One of Dem Days

 

Page 91 of 365.

Good Morning Lovies. How are you? Truly, I'd like to know. I find a lot of people ask this question but they really don't want to know what you are feeling; they just want to hear the "I'm fine" or the "I'm good"... most don't care to look beyond the words coming out of your mouth. 

It's a self-absorbed world we live in, and I just don't think I fit into it.

I don't know if I am feeling sad about the world in general, or if I am simply having a pity party LOL... (Gawd, when your sugars are all fkd up, it screws with you mentally HARDCORE!!!)

After having a decent day yesterday, one that I am going to keep close to my heart... it's the small things that I love cherishing. I just get frustrated because it ended on a rough note. (Not anyone's fault, it's a daily battle with medical things... it just got to me)....

Long story short, I am following the advice of my dietician and began taking my insulin again yesterday. I was dealing with my monitor and sensor to make sure they were working as my body likes to act funky with insulin. My body rides in the high 20s to mid 30s, which is generally coma time, for a lot of dianetics... but you put even a lil bit of insulin into my system and I drop to a 3 or 2, which can result in my falling into a coma as well; and it happens FAST!!!

Welllllll, my monitor didn't want to work, so I had to rip off the new sensor I had put on, to replace it and try to hook it up to my phone... well, fk me, that was a fkn trip to do. I was ready to throw my phone and the system off the balcony, I was losing my shyt. I have low patience for things like that. Somehow, it works, even though it is showing all kinds of things I need to do... I ain't touching it, it's doing what it needs to do.

Needless to say, my numbers dropped and rapidly. I went to sleep to my numbers being 3.1 and I woke up to them being 23.9. TALK ABOUT A SHYT SHOW!!! I am not prepared to tackle this stuff again. 5, yes FIVE injections daily into my belly, plus meds to level out??? All because my kidney and liver don't function properly??? Doctors and Dieticians say I am eating properly, and it's internal damage that is causing the most issues. (Before all you nay-sayers chirp at me...)

That's my rant for today. I am struggling, but this shall not beat me neither. I'll be back to write in a bit. I wanna dwell on the good. Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be LOVED.

~ Phoenix

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