Page One of Chapter Six

 

Welcome to the 6th month of 2025. WOW, I cannot believe that we are already this far into the year of retribution!!!

I am finding myself using words that are fairly foreign to me. I am not saying this as a bad thing, at all... the words "peace", "happy", "loved", "wanted" are not things I could usually associate with me nor my life; but now I can say them with confidence. 

I can say them without fear of someone, or something trying to destroy it. I am THAT secure in what is happening in and around me, to say it out loud. 

Fuck if we had a mountain around us (and I don't mean the pissant mole hill they call a "mountain" here in the Hammer, neither)... I am talking about Whistler Mountain... I'd be shouting it from the top.

I have come to the point that I am at peace with things that I never had control over, but cried about for years and years, feeling guilty like somehow certain things fell on my shoulder, even as a child. It took a very patient, consistent, loving person with somewhat stern guidance to show me that it is okay to not comply nor answer to every whim of people, just because they fall under the label of "family".

I have opened my heart to the love that has always been there... seeing that it IS pure love, unconditional love. I used to speak of it, as I gave unconditional love BUT I never felt I ever truly received the same love back. Well, my blinders came off, the wall around my heart has crumbled. I guess that is all I really have to say about things.

Let's hope that June continues to bring blessings, and livens up others' lives. I wish the best for people... Light & Love.

~Phoenix

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