Chapter Seven Starts....

 

Page 183 of 365. 

Good Afternoon Lovies. How are you all doing, now that summer is officially in full swing? I have been faring pretty well, at least until today. I woke up feeling lethargic, so it wasn't a fun morning; then I had a "mini" seizure... 

I say "mini" because it didn't last long, and it was a focal awareness seizure. Quite simply put, I have these seizures quite often, I don't usually have twitching or tremors, although I DO get those every so often. I end up staring off in space, so to speak. 

I am most of the time, fully aware of what is going on around me; but I am not able to speak, or properly communicate for the duration of the seizure and for a while afterwards... other times, I have them and am completely unaware of it. I won't remember having one, and my memory loss will be very bad at that time. 

Those who are around me will be able to notice if I have had them in my sleep because I will be stuttering, and struggling for words. I get very embarrassed when this happens, even though I know it is not something I can control... I feel like an idiot when I can't express what's going on. 

Unfortunately when I have seizures in my sleep, sometimes the ability to form proper words can take a couple days to come back to me; and depending on how bad the seizure was, I have times where I am unable to walk properly, I am a weeble wobble and the walls/floors and I get very well acquainted. I don't meant to make jokes, but if I was to stay serious about all my health shyt all the time, I would be crying 24/7... and I'd rather focus on the good things and people in my life. And fuck man... if I can't laugh at myself, who can???

Well Lovies, we are in the 7th chapter of this book. This year has been really flying by. It hasn't all been peaches, but this year has shown me where I truly belong. I can actually say I am HAPPY. That word has been foreign to me, for a very long time... I cannot complain because what and who I have in my life, was definitely worth the wait. 

Leave things to the universe, because sometimes I say that "if only I knew back then..." BUT then realize had I have then what I have now, it never would have worked out because it wasn't the right time. I needed to learn the lessons I did from other people through my life, to truly appreciate and value those in my life now. 

That's all I got for today... I leave with two pieces of advice...

Be grateful. Trust the Universe!!! Stay safe. Stay cool. Be well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be LOVED!!!

~ Phoenix

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