More of a Curse Than a Blessing Most Times These Days

Page 229 of 365.

Good Morning Lovies. Yes, it is merely the wee hours of Sunday (Funday) morn. It is currently 1:11 am EST; but my mind is restless, and since I have been so neglectful of my blog I figured now would be the perfect time to get some writing done.

I want to say that it is life that is getting in the way, but I can't think of any significant event that has kept me away from my keyboard. I think it is just my mental health has taken a few hits the past little while, and I have been trying to get back on the horse; but there is just something nagging at me. It is odd because I love writing, and I know how much it heals my soul to just let it all out.

Yesterday kind of hit a nerve because it was my brother's birthday. Yes, it is one of my 5 (half) biological brothers; but this one I grew up with, as we were adopted into the same family. I don't know why I even acknowledge him nor his birthday at all anymore; but it was toying with my emotions all day. I don't know why I allow these days creep up on me like that. I don't understand how I allow these dates and people to still affect me the way they do. 

It may sound dumb to soooo many out there, but I get frustrated with myself that I am not able to just shut off the emotions and never think of them again.... soooooo many people that have no place in my life, and definitely no seat at my table, yet they still mean something to me; even knowing that I mean absolutely FA to them. I swear being an empath and having a big heart is a lot of times more of a curse than a blessing!!! I am going to end this off with I hope he had a great birthday, as I am sure he was surrounded by family and loved ones. 

(For that part, I do not envy him. LOL) 

Although we do not speak, and haven't exchanged a single letter, word nor had any sort of contact in 16 years, I do wish him well. Sorry, that's all I got to say on this one.

Stay safe. Stay cool, Be well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be LOVED!!!

~ Phoenix

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