The Smallest Things Can Trigger

Hey. I told you I was going to write about something else today. The other day, I was watching the last few episodes of "Dynasty" (the newer one). I had forgotten the end of the series, so when I saw and heard the last episode, I had a meltdown, and even now, a few days later; my heart is still hurting!!!

This is something that would be so minuscule to others; but deeply affects me. ..

I am pretty sure, most of you have watched the movie "Annie". I am talking about the original one from 1982, with Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, Albert Finney, Aileen Quinn, etc.

Sure, it is a sweet, feel-good, great ending kind of movie... for MOST people. For me??? It is a stark reminder of my own personal life.

LET ME EXPLAIN!!!

As you all are well aware of, if you have been following my blog, I am adopted; I was taken in as a foster child, into the same family who adopted me. I have a rather difficult (to put it mildly) relationship with my mother.

Every year, on my birthday, my mother would rent the movie "Annie", and made sure my friends and I watched it. The older I got, it was a (slap in the face) reminder that I was adopted, and I should be grateful I was. She never missed a chance to remind me, in the cruelest way, that I was not her child biologically.

LET ME GET BACK TO WHY I AM WRITING ABOUT THIS...

The ending ot Dynasty, there was a few times where the infamous song "Tomorrow" was sung. I had to hide my tears, feeling like an idiot that to this day, it hurts me so. It has been days since we watched it, and I still have not recovered from how it hit my heart. I feel like after all these years, it shouldn't hurt so much; and somehow I am a loser for not being "over" it... 

Will I ever be over it??? Is there ever a time, it won't trigger me???  I don't know; all I know for certain is sometimes the littlest things still cut the deepest.

Stay strong. Stay safe. Be well and Be loved.

~ Phoenix

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