Two Years Ago

Page 17 of 365.

Good Afternoon my Lovies. I hope you all have a great Saturday, even if it is simply lounging around; may you have a peaceful day. Today, I struggle internally.

Two years ago (yesterday), my beloved Aunt passed away. When I tell you this woman was a mother to me, in EVERY way, right down to the spankings and regular stuff us Gen Xers dealt with. She basically was tough love, with a gentle touch... if that makes any sense?!!

The reason I struggle with her passing is because I knew she was really sick for quite a long time, so it wasn't too surprising that she was going to die; what shocked me, and hurt me was no one told me she had died. I found out about her passing AFTER her funeral.

TALK ABOUT TWISTING THE KNIFE!!!

I knew my mother (adopted) was always jealous of our relationship and how close we were. I was also very well aware of how vindictive she can be towards me. Any chance she got, she'd twist that knife a little deeper in my back... it's like some sick pleasure to her. (I don't know. I don't get it; but it is what it is. I've accepted it).

Sorry, I don't want to make this entry about bitterness. This is about remembrance of a woman who played a major role in my life. Someone I miss deeply. Someone I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to; and that really sucks. I DO find solace in the fact that she is reunited with her husband, who had passed away (January 26, 2018).

They were both strong in their Christian faith, believing they would reunite with each other in Heaven; for them, I hope this is true. They were two absolutely beautiful souls. GBNF.

With all my love, Phoenix

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