A Tiny Word With Massive Impact

Page 40 of 365.

Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you the day finds you all in good health. I know, it is Monday... so even for me, it is always a day that I may function at (maybe) 60%, at best. On top of it being a Monday, I have made some decisions that are a little bit out of character for me; BUT they are in the nest interest of my well-being and health.

I am learning that this cute, two letter word, in the English language needs to start being my best friend, and a very BIG part of my vocabulary. 

It is going to take a bit of getting used to, and it is going to disappoint some people in my life; but I have to look out for myself now.

I am talking about the word, "NO!!!"

I have a loud voice. I stand up to a lot of injustices I see happening to people in and around my circle. The problem is, a lot of those who see me doing this, have become reliant on me. I normally wouldn't have an issue with that; but these same people are NOT making any effort to help their situations and literally are laying all their crap on my shoulders. I no longer have the strength nor the desire to do this.

The whole, "You can't help those who won't help themselves" phrase, has taken on an entirely new meaning for me. Yes, people reach out to me to help recify their situation; but that is it. They expect me to be the one to do all the work, while they sit back and enjoy the benfits of ME correcting it... I break my back. Give the the shirt off my back, for a burden that isn't even mine to bear.

I guess you could say I am tired of people taking advantage of my kindness, and although I know this is exactly what they are doing, BUT I refuse to become bitter and cold-hearted... if that makes sense.

I have my own battles to fight.

I am simply going to tighten my circle, and access to me. I hate being like this, but I feel like I've been stretched so thin. I am not taking care of myself, and not been of any use to those who actually ARE in my circle.... literally my Ma and my person. It gets to me so bad, that I get really depressed when I can't solve things for everyone; ignoring the urgency of my own things.

I will apologize now, as it is what it is. I miss being the bubbly, happy-go-lucky person I am. I miss just going with the flow and enjoying my own space and my circle. 2025 was a tough year for a lot of us. We are entering a brand new cycle after 13 years of a shitshow... I want to enter this new cycle, with a lighter "load" _ a clearer mind. More happiness and love than the last few years.

I am babbling at this point. Just know that I am doing okay... Back to the grind tomorrow and dealing with the legal part of things. A couple more weeks and taxes can be filed... YES, I am that kind of person, who does their taxes the first day you can. LOL

Stay safe. Stay war. Ne well. Be blessed. Most of all, Be LOVED!!!

~ Phoenix

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