Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

Page 40 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you the day finds you all in good health. I know, it is Monday... so even for me, it is always a day that I may function at (maybe) 60%, at best. On top of it being a Monday, I have made some decisions that are a little bit out of character for me; BUT they are in the nest interest of my well-being and health. I am learning that this cute, two letter word, in the English language needs to start being my best friend, and a very BIG part of my vocabulary.  It is going to take a bit of getting used to, and it is going to disappoint some people in my life; but I have to look out for myself now. I am talking about the word, "NO!!!" I have a loud voice. I stand up to a lot of injustices I see happening to people in and around my circle. The problem is, a lot of those who see me doing this, have become reliant on me. I normally wouldn't have an issue with that; but these same people are NOT making any effort to help their situations ...

  I know this is going to be more of a touchy subject. I have been struggling mentally lately. I mean, I am not having a mental breakdown, where I feel I need to go to the hospital and get an evaluation; but I have definitely been having episode after episode.  Every week I am snapping on my person. He takes the brunt of it. I really don't deserve someone like him in my life; but I am eternally grateful for him. I tell him this all the time; but there are truly no words that can express how true that it. I CAN admit that this week got me good. I got triggered soooo bad, that I actually contemplated swallowing as many pills as I could find. It wasn't an idle threat neither.  I honestly am so disappointed in myself. I haven't had suicidal thoughts or triggers in a very long time. It took me a couple days to get out of my head. I cannot really explain why I get stuck, and overthink... always the worst case scenario.  Am I the only one who does this??? It fkn sucks. I am...

Page 37 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Happy FriYay!!! I don't know about you, but we are hunkering down for yet another fantastical snow storm. I don't mind. I love snow; I just really don't like having loved ones on the roads when they are shitty. Thankfully for most, it is the weekend and people are home; yet, I have some loved ones that have no choice and are working... it is them I worry about. The only crappy thing about the weather doing its shit is how it effects those of us who deal with excruciating pain and headaches from the change in barometric pressure.  It is a terrible thing; when your life and activities are based on Mother Nature's bipolar moods. I cannot speak for everyone; but when you are affected by both the high and low pressures; you are pretty much fuckered. I send out gentle hugs to everyone who has medical conditions that get much worse when the weather goes all funky. Am I the only one who is shocked at how fast this year is going already? So...