Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

Page 240 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I know, my writing has been sporadic lately. I cannot explain what I don't understand myself; but I have been going through a spell of anxiety and panic for weeks now, and it is affecting my daily life, to the point that I feel almost paralyzed by it. I have been having nightmares that I relive vividly in my waking hours. I really don't want to talk about them, but I feel I need to, in order for me to settle my mind. As many of you know, I am estranged from my parents (Adopted). I have not spoken to them in months, not even a single text message...  I am not putting that entirely on them, because I asked them to no longer contact me, after receiving sage advice from a very wise person in my life (well, many people actually). I couldn't handle the pain it caused me every time we spoke. I couldn't handle the belittling, or their demands for me to comply to their ways (whatever it was at the moment). I had to do this for my own sanity!...

  Page 235 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. It's Caturday!!!The skies look like they are going to cooperate with those of you who planned any outdoor activities. Don't quote me on that though, I haven't bothered looking on the weather network, or any weather app, for that matter.  I just woke up a little while ago, and knew I had to get this off my chest, as I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I had already been feeling off, and anxious the past week or so, more than usual; then an event happened last night AND the evening before that has left me shook... so, yah... I am not fully functioning as my cPTSD has been triggered, and I'm trying to work through it without any medication. To make a long story very short, remember earlier in the year, I had been telling y'all about a guy who worked for the company who owns the building I live in? Well, he no longer works here... I believe he was fired. For some reason, he appears at my building every fkn day. He has NO r...

  Page 233 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. Happy Thor's Day!!! I hope you all are having a good day, and those of you facing this Tropical Storm/Hurricane Erin, are staying safe or have followed the evacuation suggestions and gone to higher ground.  The crazy ass natural disasters that have happened in the past year, or two, have been absolutely insane... I like to say that, "Mother Nature is extremely pissed off at people". Playing "God" with nature, manipulating the weather with cloud seeding, and whatever else the government has decided to do, was a very unwise thing to do...  How long did they think they were going to get away with it, before the universe was going to straighten their asses out, and take vengeance on the planet??? Well, if they guessed NOW, they would be right!!! The earthquakes, the volcanoes, the tornadoes, the hurricanes, the floods, the fires... If you sit back and think about it, all 5 elements are being used against mankind right now. If ...

  You know summer is officially coming to an end when the CNE is open here in Toronto, Ontario!!! The CNE has been a staple event and place in Toronto for decades, and it is open for only two weeks of the year... the last two weeks of summer vacation for the school kids.  You wanna know something wild??? I grew up in Toronto, and I have never been there.  Maybe, I was just a weird person, but I never found the appeal of going to such a busy place with crowds of people, the noise, the smell and the lights would drive me insane. I am NOT a people person!!!  To make it even more weird... I loved going to Canada's Wonderland and held a season's pass to that place for years on end. I think because it was a much bigger space, and even though it was crowded, you still had placed to escape from the hoards of people.... unfortunately, you're still stuck with the smells and noise though. This summer has brought something I never expected to see again. I know I get chaos in my ...

Page 229 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. Yes, it is merely the wee hours of Sunday (Funday) morn. It is currently 1:11 am EST; but my mind is restless, and since I have been so neglectful of my blog I figured now would be the perfect time to get some writing done. I want to say that it is life that is getting in the way, but I can't think of any significant event that has kept me away from my keyboard. I think it is just my mental health has taken a few hits the past little while, and I have been trying to get back on the horse; but there is just something nagging at me. It is odd because I love writing, and I know how much it heals my soul to just let it all out. Yesterday kind of hit a nerve because it was my brother's birthday. Yes, it is one of my 5 (half) biological brothers; but this one I grew up with, as we were adopted into the same family. I don't know why I even acknowledge him nor his birthday at all anymore; but it was toying with my emotions all day. I don't ...

  Page 226 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How goes it? Things in my personal life seem to be going okay. Healthwise things went down the crapper a couple days ago; to the point that I was actually afraid to go to sleep, I didn't think I was going to wake up from it.  My body was failing me really back and it was a crash I didn't think I could fight back from; having autoimmune disorders is no joke!!!  Alas, I am here today, somewhat in a better state... slowly but surely, I continue to fight the endless medical battle. I have been watching our countries crumble under so much political bullshit the past few years, maybe even decades, but this one is really taking the cake... I know, we have spoken a lot about the foreigners and how they are literally taking over our countries, and our governments are allowing them to squash our society, our laws and the way we live. Our rights and freedoms are being , not just bent, but obliterated.  The powers that be are sooooo worr...

  Good Morning Lovies. Happy Monday everyone. I hope you all have a blessed day. It was a rather quiet weekend, and I did not dare to venture outdoors, as the weather continues to be extremely rude!!! My body is NOT built for this kind of heat. I say it often, and people think I am joking; but I was definitely meant to be an eskimo. Yesterday was a day of reflection for me. It was my aunt's birthday, and even though she passed almost two decades ago; it feels like it was only yesterday for me. The last six months of her life was marred with my mother constantly making it miserable for me to even spend time with her.  I never understood the jealousy my mother had over my aunt and my relationship; but my mother remained cruel to the bitter end; and my aunt gave it right back until she no long could. I could write for days about my aunt, and all the crazy antics we did; but sometimes the best things/times that happened, are the ones nobody knows about. I guess where I am getting ...

  Page 221 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope the world is right with all of you. I know it's been 8 days since I have sat down to write a blurb, and honestly I really don't have any excuses for not sitting my ass down and writing about life, other than... WTF IS GOING ON WITH THIS WORLD??? There have been sooooo many natural disasters all over the world, that have made me tell people repeatedly, "Mankind has REALLY pissed off Mother Nature!!!" Governments have openly admitted they've been cloud seeding. I don't know where in their deluded minds, they thought this was a good idea. We are now experiences, volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, constant tsunami warnings, tornadoes, and let's not even talk about the flooding... we haven't even entered hurricane season yet; and China is trying to instill fear to the world with their newest virus.  I don't buy into this one... just like the last one. This one is NOT airborne, it is not transmitted from hum...

  Page 213 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you had a great Friyay... and look forward to a good (long) weekend. The weather here, is still extremely rude!!!  I had a rough week; my damn air conditioner died a few days ago. I am NOT someone who can handle heat at all... I am a Canadian chick; through and through!!! I had medical this week, and I can say, I am NOT disappointed with the appt, as it went like I expected it. My levels with my diabetes are more level and continue to be in the right direction but my IIH and my migraines have been through the roof with this weather. I did celebrate a little bit though. I was watching something on TV, and a commercial came on for "Back-to-school" stuff and I was soooooooo excited. Not that I have any children in school, although I have grandchildren that go... It's just the sure sign that this hot, sweaty, swamp ass weather is coming to an end (hopefully). I mean, it would be traditionally, but the past few years, we have be...