Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

  Page 261 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope you have a fabulous Thor's Day. There really isn't too much going on in my world today; all I know, is today I choose peace.  There is so much wrong with the world, that I am just going to stay in my bubble, turn on the TV and simply watch movies. I have NO desire to know what is happening outside the walls of my home.  I refuse to "adult" today!!! (Yes, I CAN get away with it... I am a "ToYs R' Us Kid). People, of course, will find this selfish, but I personally think everyone needs to shut off the world, from time to time, in order to reset their mental health and ease their troubled minds; me included. It is no secret that I cope with mental health on the regular. I keep it an open dialogue so people don't have to feel it's a taboo subject with me, nor will they be judged if they choose to open up to me. I will be your "safe space" and I believe strongly in the "four wall" policy. M...

  Page 259 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope your day went well. Today's entry is going to be rather short and a bit controversial; although, it really shouldn't be... Over the weekend, there has been soooo many messages and articles written about Charlie Kirk, and how his assassination has turned him into a martyr.  I can agree with that, in the sense, that he was murdered because of his beliefs and opinions.  I am not a Christian, and although I did NOT agree with everything he said, I had respect for him standing tall in his convictions and never wavering in his faith. I  really loved how he DID try to keep an open dialogue with everyone. He didn't simply slam others' and how they felt and what their ways were... even though he would bring his side with facts and truths that a lot of current (newer/younger) society cannot accept as reality. At the end of the day, what happened to Charlie Kirk is appalling; anyone celebrating over his death, needs to get their ...

Page 257 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Today, I am just gonna wing it with what is on my mind.  Before I begin, I hope you all are having a great Sunday Funday.  I am sorta just chillaxing, listening to songs reminding me of my youth... roadtrips, camping trips to my favourite places... way out of the concrete jungle and into the wilderness park... where my heart always yearns to be. I have a lil thing I wanna talk about, it may seem a bit weird to talk about, considering the day and age we live in; but it something I see day-in and day-out. I understand why people feel the way they do, and I completely respect it; that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my heart. It has been the trend for years, where people's preference is to remain single; whether it has been from a bad break up or a death. I am from the Gen X era, and it seems to be really prominent in our age group, (It may be in other eras too, but I can only speak of my own).... I don't know what it is for everyone, s...

  Page 256 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you are enjoying your Saturday. I hope you all are in good health and able to enjoy these last few weeks of summer. I can't say I am complaining, it isn't that hot out and the sun isn't glaring down with any excessive heat. I don't really have a specific topic on my mind, that I urgently need to write about.  I AM going to discuss something that I feel is important to discuss, and should remain a top priority in our society; but somehow always seems to fall to the bottom of the list, as people sweep it under the rug; or feel that it isn't really a significant concern to our every day lives. MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH I write this as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a niece and as a wife. I am really tired of hearing the saying, "Suck it up!" when it comes to boys and men, when they express how they feel. This mentality has been embedded into their brains, since the beginning of time, and I am one, who is strongl...

Page 254 of 365. Good Morning Lovies.  I doubt my words will do justice for everything that we are all thinking and feeling this morning; but I will give it my best shot. Today, many of us, sit quietly and reflect on the unimaginable damage that was caused in Manhattan 24 years ago today. Over 3,000 people lost, in an event that shook the world.  To this day, many will never forget where they were standing when the first plane hit the Twin Towers, and a nightmare unfolded before our very eyes!!! The fear, the anguish, the anger and loss that united most of the world; at least for a moment.  A day the world literally felt like it stood still, I know it was eeriely quiet for me and my family, as we lived an a flight path for Toronto Pearson International Airport, and there wasn't a single plane flying for a day, or two. Last night, we all witnessed a shocking assassination of someone who was very influential to the newer generation. He was controversial in the sense where h...

Page 250 of 365. Good Evening Lovies. I hope you all had a great weekend. The weather has been decent, I suppose. I am looking forward to the cooler days, the changing of the leaves, and the crisp breeze... along with the scent of sweet apple cider :)  Yah, I am NOT a "pumpkin spice" kinda anything, if I am being totally honest!!! I have got to admit, a few things have happened recently that are bouncing around in my head, and I feel I need to express them... at least, in the best way I possibly can. I have been in love with someone for a very long time. We have a great relationship, on all the levels that consist on making one so. We are very open with each other. We don't shy away from talking about difficult or awkward subjects. We share our goals and troubles. There is NO lack of communication, nor comprehension. We have the same goals and are looking at the future as one. We share the same values and morals.  Basically, to put it in a nutshell, we are two peas in a p...

Page 249 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I would advise you to grab a drink, kick back, and sit tight... this one is gonna be a bit of a wild ride... and a lot of people may be offended by what I am going to write about; but who would I be, if I just kept my mouth shut and complied with everyone else??? Before I get into the nitty gritty of my views, let me reassure you that I am NOT condoning any sort of violence; so take heed of that as we proceed through this blurb.... There has been a lot, and I mean A LOT of hatred, vandalism, and killing of Christians lately (some of them being children), which has been devastating. I DO mourn the loss of lives... anybody's life... so maybe the next part of what I am going to say, will be very contradictory, but it IS a proven part of history!!! I have family who are Catholic, Christians, Orthodox, Protestants, Reformed, etc. I also have family who are Pagan, Atheist, Satanist, Luciferian, Wicca, etc. So needless to say, I have a bit of knowle...

  Page 248 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. We are in the 9th chapter of 2025... How crazy is that???  I wanna say it has been a decent year... and for the most part, I feel it has been. Sure, there have been a lot of ups and downs; but as long as there have been one more up than down, we're winning, right? Health is always present, some days are rougher than others, but I have been blessed enough to not have any major episodes requiring lengthy hospital stays.  On the front of friends and fools... well some people have began to show their true colours/shed their skin, so to speak... and my life has been better by them removing themselves; or by me simply walking away from the drama and energy sucking vampyres. As for my heart and soul? Things are what was meant to be... it sure took the long route; but DAMN, it was soooo worth it. I am not going to divulge a lot because there will always be people out there to fk with your vibe. It's disheartening that people can't just be...

Page 240 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I know, my writing has been sporadic lately. I cannot explain what I don't understand myself; but I have been going through a spell of anxiety and panic for weeks now, and it is affecting my daily life, to the point that I feel almost paralyzed by it. I have been having nightmares that I relive vividly in my waking hours. I really don't want to talk about them, but I feel I need to, in order for me to settle my mind. As many of you know, I am estranged from my parents (Adopted). I have not spoken to them in months, not even a single text message...  I am not putting that entirely on them, because I asked them to no longer contact me, after receiving sage advice from a very wise person in my life (well, many people actually). I couldn't handle the pain it caused me every time we spoke. I couldn't handle the belittling, or their demands for me to comply to their ways (whatever it was at the moment). I had to do this for my own sanity!...

  Page 235 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. It's Caturday!!!The skies look like they are going to cooperate with those of you who planned any outdoor activities. Don't quote me on that though, I haven't bothered looking on the weather network, or any weather app, for that matter.  I just woke up a little while ago, and knew I had to get this off my chest, as I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I had already been feeling off, and anxious the past week or so, more than usual; then an event happened last night AND the evening before that has left me shook... so, yah... I am not fully functioning as my cPTSD has been triggered, and I'm trying to work through it without any medication. To make a long story very short, remember earlier in the year, I had been telling y'all about a guy who worked for the company who owns the building I live in? Well, he no longer works here... I believe he was fired. For some reason, he appears at my building every fkn day. He has NO r...

  Page 233 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. Happy Thor's Day!!! I hope you all are having a good day, and those of you facing this Tropical Storm/Hurricane Erin, are staying safe or have followed the evacuation suggestions and gone to higher ground.  The crazy ass natural disasters that have happened in the past year, or two, have been absolutely insane... I like to say that, "Mother Nature is extremely pissed off at people". Playing "God" with nature, manipulating the weather with cloud seeding, and whatever else the government has decided to do, was a very unwise thing to do...  How long did they think they were going to get away with it, before the universe was going to straighten their asses out, and take vengeance on the planet??? Well, if they guessed NOW, they would be right!!! The earthquakes, the volcanoes, the tornadoes, the hurricanes, the floods, the fires... If you sit back and think about it, all 5 elements are being used against mankind right now. If ...

  You know summer is officially coming to an end when the CNE is open here in Toronto, Ontario!!! The CNE has been a staple event and place in Toronto for decades, and it is open for only two weeks of the year... the last two weeks of summer vacation for the school kids.  You wanna know something wild??? I grew up in Toronto, and I have never been there.  Maybe, I was just a weird person, but I never found the appeal of going to such a busy place with crowds of people, the noise, the smell and the lights would drive me insane. I am NOT a people person!!!  To make it even more weird... I loved going to Canada's Wonderland and held a season's pass to that place for years on end. I think because it was a much bigger space, and even though it was crowded, you still had placed to escape from the hoards of people.... unfortunately, you're still stuck with the smells and noise though. This summer has brought something I never expected to see again. I know I get chaos in my ...

Page 229 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. Yes, it is merely the wee hours of Sunday (Funday) morn. It is currently 1:11 am EST; but my mind is restless, and since I have been so neglectful of my blog I figured now would be the perfect time to get some writing done. I want to say that it is life that is getting in the way, but I can't think of any significant event that has kept me away from my keyboard. I think it is just my mental health has taken a few hits the past little while, and I have been trying to get back on the horse; but there is just something nagging at me. It is odd because I love writing, and I know how much it heals my soul to just let it all out. Yesterday kind of hit a nerve because it was my brother's birthday. Yes, it is one of my 5 (half) biological brothers; but this one I grew up with, as we were adopted into the same family. I don't know why I even acknowledge him nor his birthday at all anymore; but it was toying with my emotions all day. I don't ...

  Page 226 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How goes it? Things in my personal life seem to be going okay. Healthwise things went down the crapper a couple days ago; to the point that I was actually afraid to go to sleep, I didn't think I was going to wake up from it.  My body was failing me really back and it was a crash I didn't think I could fight back from; having autoimmune disorders is no joke!!!  Alas, I am here today, somewhat in a better state... slowly but surely, I continue to fight the endless medical battle. I have been watching our countries crumble under so much political bullshit the past few years, maybe even decades, but this one is really taking the cake... I know, we have spoken a lot about the foreigners and how they are literally taking over our countries, and our governments are allowing them to squash our society, our laws and the way we live. Our rights and freedoms are being , not just bent, but obliterated.  The powers that be are sooooo worr...

  Good Morning Lovies. Happy Monday everyone. I hope you all have a blessed day. It was a rather quiet weekend, and I did not dare to venture outdoors, as the weather continues to be extremely rude!!! My body is NOT built for this kind of heat. I say it often, and people think I am joking; but I was definitely meant to be an eskimo. Yesterday was a day of reflection for me. It was my aunt's birthday, and even though she passed almost two decades ago; it feels like it was only yesterday for me. The last six months of her life was marred with my mother constantly making it miserable for me to even spend time with her.  I never understood the jealousy my mother had over my aunt and my relationship; but my mother remained cruel to the bitter end; and my aunt gave it right back until she no long could. I could write for days about my aunt, and all the crazy antics we did; but sometimes the best things/times that happened, are the ones nobody knows about. I guess where I am getting ...

  Page 221 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope the world is right with all of you. I know it's been 8 days since I have sat down to write a blurb, and honestly I really don't have any excuses for not sitting my ass down and writing about life, other than... WTF IS GOING ON WITH THIS WORLD??? There have been sooooo many natural disasters all over the world, that have made me tell people repeatedly, "Mankind has REALLY pissed off Mother Nature!!!" Governments have openly admitted they've been cloud seeding. I don't know where in their deluded minds, they thought this was a good idea. We are now experiences, volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, constant tsunami warnings, tornadoes, and let's not even talk about the flooding... we haven't even entered hurricane season yet; and China is trying to instill fear to the world with their newest virus.  I don't buy into this one... just like the last one. This one is NOT airborne, it is not transmitted from hum...

  Page 213 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you had a great Friyay... and look forward to a good (long) weekend. The weather here, is still extremely rude!!!  I had a rough week; my damn air conditioner died a few days ago. I am NOT someone who can handle heat at all... I am a Canadian chick; through and through!!! I had medical this week, and I can say, I am NOT disappointed with the appt, as it went like I expected it. My levels with my diabetes are more level and continue to be in the right direction but my IIH and my migraines have been through the roof with this weather. I did celebrate a little bit though. I was watching something on TV, and a commercial came on for "Back-to-school" stuff and I was soooooooo excited. Not that I have any children in school, although I have grandchildren that go... It's just the sure sign that this hot, sweaty, swamp ass weather is coming to an end (hopefully). I mean, it would be traditionally, but the past few years, we have be...

  Hey Lovies. I apologize for the late entry, but tonight, my heart weighs a little heavy. Life has taught me, over and over... a lesson, I still falter over. People who say they are your friends, a lot of the time, are strangers (or enemies), in disguise. I find it ironic that I posted about this recently... A FRIEND OF MY ENEMY, IS NOT MY FRIEND!!! Today, was a bitter pill to swallow... or the irony in that sentence! It's amazing how years can taint your vision. I'd say "rose-coloured glasses", but that is sooooo yesterday.(You can probably HEAR my eyes rolling from wherever you are).  T hings that have transpired in the last couple weeks just reaffirms WHY I am so selective as to who sits at my table, compared to those who get to clear the scraps!!! I DO have to admit, I'm getting tired of waiting for people to expose themselves and their agendas. Wouldn't life be soooooo much easier if everyone came with a 30-second trailer about themselves??? It would sav...

Page 204 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How was your day? Mine? It has been rather quiet, and a bit reflective. I am trying to stay on the positive side, focusing on the things I have, not the things I want... although, what I really "want", I already have!!! I am not a millionaire by any means, if people were to look through my finances, they would see that I live below the poverty line here in Canada... but ywt, I lack nothing.  I have a roof over my head, my bills are paid, I have food in my belly. I have people that love me, as much as I love them... and then, I have my person. Someone who irrevocably loves me, and I, him. I have lived with the philosophy that I'd rather live in a shoebox and be real, have real; than conform to the ways of society... and that is exactly how I live.  I honestly would hate to see where I would be right now, had I conformed to the lifestyle that was expected of me. I guess what I am trying to say, is this... The world around us is in com...

  Page 203 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How are y'all doing? I am kind of bouncing off walls, as I had zero sleep last night, for some reason my brain decided it wanted to go in a million directions all night... SMFH I finally gave up and crawled out of bed, very sluggish today, but I DID accomplish something... and it did NOT require bail money LOL. I managed to stay on the phone waiting for some civilian who works for the government to pick up the call... it only took 43 minutes. Thankfully, I had someone who spoke proper English (IYKYK). It was something I have been trying to correct for a few years now, and I completed it; so YES, I feel accomplished again today :) I am writing with sadness in my heart though... I know it sounds so bizarre to say that the death of someone famous is affecting me, but this one is very near and dear to my heart.  Ozzy Osbourne passed away today.  He was 76 years old, and was coping with a severe rapidly deteriorating illness. He was pa...

  Page 202 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you all are having a good day, despite it being Monday. It is Monday, right? LOL Sorry, I am a bit of a space case today LOL. I woke up in a fairly decent mood. I managed to get a few things accomplished.  I am feeling confident that one part of my medical journey is heading in the right direction, and for that I am extremely grateful.  I fully acknowledge that I will be on medication for the rest of my life, in order for my organs to function somewhat like the average human-being. Sadly, a few of my organs are kinda screwed, not because I abused my body, more because I was born with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome)... I am not sure what the term is for it now... the other part is mostly due to physicians misdiagnosing me, and giving me the wrong prescriptions. Thas is a tale for another day. I also took the bull by the horns when it came to the conditions everyone in my building are living in. I am fed up with all the BS and c...

As promised, this entry is going to be a bit more about me opening up about some of my personal demons.  I know that mental health is still a huge taboo subject; and people would rather shove any topic that makes them feel uncomfortable under the rug... I cannot do that. I will always advocate for mental health awareness!!! I HAVE mental health issues and disorders... I am not "mental" or "crazy" or "insane". It's like referring to people who HAVE cancer, you don't call them "cancerous", or imply that they are a burden to society because they have an illness, do you??? I can explain some examples of things that happen and how I react to them; to some, my actions make absolutely no sense to another, but they are completely valid to me... I am a HUGE stickler for not going to bed angry, nor leaving the house if you are fighting with your partner or significant other. (This only became more prominent after I woke to finding my husband dead b...