Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

  Page 88 of 365.  Good Day Lovies. I know it's been a rather crappy start to the weekend, weather-wise, unfortunately it looks like this weather is sticking around through Sunday... but having freezing rain and ice storms with power outages is kinda the norm for the average Canadian, no??? I got my main shopping done this morning, didn't really need too much and I really wasn't up to dealing with people (even more than usual). I don't know if it was the lack of a decent sleep last night or just the day... I have been reflecting on the things that are required of me to maintain relationships with various people; and if I am willing to dedicate so much of myself to them. The biggest one by far, is my relationship with my family members. I know that the once fragile relationship between my parents and I has become irreparable. I know in some twisted way, I should feel bad about it; but to those who have watched what this toxic relationship has done to me through the years...

  Hi y'all. Don't worry. I am not about to get negative... more like mulling over a moment... It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that my baby boy is going to be 25 years old, in three days.  I know, I shouldn't be calling him my "baby boy" anymore... but I don't think I will ever stop. I love hearing him calling me, "Momma". He is my last child and will always be my baby.  (Hell, blame it on the Europeans I grew up with... IDK) It is still kinda wild that I am on my 50th trip around the sun. My daughter is going to be 29 years old... BLOWS MY MIND !!! Both my kids have their own kids, and live their own lives. It's awesome to see them building their futures and raise their sweet "demon" spawn... LOL (IYKYK) !!! We may not speak, but I am beyond proud of them and the adults they have become; the parents they are. Anyways, I didn't want to make this all sappy and shyt. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I can't bel...

  Page 87 of 265. Good Afternoon My Lovies. How are you? It may be gloomy out, but the sun is definitely shining in my world today!!! I had been kind of in a slum this week due to things that were out of my control; but I also had some very good, precious moments... the kind I keep close to my heart and not ones that the public needs to know about <3 First, I wanna celebrate... I had medical this morning. I had to meet with my oncologist, hematologist and thrombrosis. For once (yes, I am knocking on wood), I got some decent news... My levels are still stable enough that I am not requiring more treatment AND I am being taken off my blood thinners. YYYYAYYYYY!!!! Of course, they will have to monitor my blood and my liver; but as of right now, I just need scans done because specialists think it may only be scarring left in my arteries. I don't think most of you truly understand how much I have been holding my breathe for this news!!! It's funny how things just fall into place a...

  Page 86 of 265. Good Morning Lovies. I hope you all have a fantabulous Thor's Day. I am having a decent morning; simply trying to keep my chin up. Don't get it twisted, I am not in a bad mood. I am once again, kind of indifferent. If you haven't caught on by now, I am the type of woman who isn't completely happy if anyone in my tribe/famILY is in need or hurting. It aches my heart tbh. In the group, that I used to consider family, I was considered the "mama" of the tribe, which isn't shocking because I am very much the mamabear. I was the one who ALWAYS made sure everyone was taken care of... this was of the utmost importance, way above my own needs and wants. Over the years, I have learned that I cannot put myself last. If I am not taking care of myself, I am of no use to others. I struggled with this for a VERY long time because I felt that was selfish. It took a lot of patience and love from one particular person to drill this into my head for me to t...

  Hi Lovies. I hope the day has treated you well. I'm kinda stuck in my head this afternoon. My emotions are neutral... it's like I'm indifferent to most things happening around me.  I'm gonna tell you a little story about how I'm always the after thought when it comes to my family (adopted), and even though it still stings a bit; I'm kinda over it. I got a text message, yes a TEXT message from my parents on Sunday night. They were informing me that my SIL had been involved in a serious car accident. Her neck and 2 vertabraes are broken.  Thanks for letting me know... the accident happened on THURSDAY!!! Just one more thing to show i truly do not belong to that family, and all the more reason I love the famILY,  us misfits have created. I really didn't have much more to add to this blurb, other than I hope you all are loved, and don't feel obligated to stay connected to people just because they're blood related!!! Stay safe. Stay warm. Be well. Be bl...

Page 83 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope the day is good to you. It was a weekend of drav, laying around being sick. I, at least, got some writing in, so I don't feel like I wasted the entire time. Today, I am happy to say I think I am through the worst of it. I get extremely frustrated because I know there are places I need to go and people I urgently need to see. I noticed over the weekend, that this isn't the week I was dreading when it come to medical appointments. I only have dietician and thrombrosis; and thankfully, I am having my dietician appointment over the phone. Having diabetes sucks, especially when you don't have a habit or urge to eat. People think diabetes is all about focusing on your sugar intake, but that is only a sliver of what need to be done. I would love to be able to eat veggies and salads, certain fruits every day; but the government has made that impossible for anyone to afford the healthy food. Sure, they preach a good game, but when you wa...

  Page 82 of 365. Good Day Lovies. I hope y'all had a great weekend. It's been a rather quiet one here, so was able to bang out a few blurbs here and on my crime blog. Being sick is shitty, but if something productive comes out of that down time; not all is lost... and I'll take it!!! I am just going to babble about a subject today. I wanna discuss relationships... on ALL levels. I know I talk a lot about my famILY, and one question that I am asked on the regular is how can men and women be friends without there being any sexual tension? First, I grew up around mostly guys, and the ones that I consider famILY and my brothers; that would be icky. We very much view each other as siblings... nothing more, nothing less. So I can with absolute confidence say that it is very possible for men and women to be JUST FRIENDS!!! I guess that would also depend on how people grew up. I grew up a product of my environment. I was a street kid at a very young age; but thankfully I was lucky...

  Page 81 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. I am kinda stuck in the house as I generally don't like people, and when I am sick, I DEFINITELY can't do people. LOL This morning, I want to write about a topic that has been in the entertainment news this past week, and it has irked me quite a bit.  I am going to speak on it... I do not know these celebrities personally, so I am going to speak on this as a whole... It's a very personal journey and I don't think ANYONE has the right to enforce their beliefs or choices on anyone...  READY??? I am talking about Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO ( Jason DeFord and Alisa DeFord). They have been very open about their personal lives, and although some may say they overshare, that is their choice to make and I am sure they are learning lessons as they go; both good and bad. They have recently been talking about their desire to have a child of their own, and their struggles along the way. Many people have b...

  Hi everyone. I am not going to mince words; although, my explanation of my own personal feelings may be extremely confuzzled... I just watched a video of some vagrant, for lack of a politer word, broke into the Vatican and devastates what he finds in St. Peter's Basilica.  (I DO believe my jaw dropped open). I will always be up front about this... I am in NO way religious; that does NOT mean I do not respect those I know and love who believe in their god and go to church. To destroy anyone's place of worship, whether it be a mosque, synagogue, temple or church... there is just someone sacred about those spaces to those people. I mean, nature is my "church" so I am not restricted to any kind of building or man-made area that requires me to be present at any specific time nor day. The video made me sick. BUT, it also made me feel like this is a bit of KARMIC JUSTICE!!! Here, let me explain... Christians, Catholics, etc (Those who worship the almighty "God") ...

  Page 78 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope your day is going well. It's going to be warm out today, so it'll be a cuppa tea and blogging day for me. I really don't have a specific topic in mind, but I did want to give y'all an update on the happenings in this place I live in and my on-going battle with the big corporation of slumlords. I refuse to give up the good fight!!! My guests who are staying at my place, who are the former superintendents of this building, have a case against the company for all their violations of the human rights code; at least that part is in place. I have contacted the city, but that was pointless because it looks like bylaw has given up on this building... it literally has left the tenants hanging; not enforcing any of the laws these POS are breaking. That has lead to me calling the MPP (Member of Provincial Parliament), which, here in Canada, is the a step below calling federal. MP was conpletely useless, just like the local councilman f...

  Page 75 of 365.  Good Afternoon Lovies. I know this blurb is not going to be a long one; but it IS one that is positive :) I have mentioned quite a few times about my biologival family... I am not going to discuss the maternal side because I don't want to make this a post of misery.  I am going to write about the paternal side... I found out about my paternal side in 2020, and please believe, I struggled with the decision to find them. I unfortunately found out who he was 2 years after his passing from this earthly plane.   (I still am not sure how I feel about all of that!!!) My dad had other children, that I didn't know about until after the DNA results came in. It was kind of left idle for a year, as everyone was trying to process all this at once. Here we are almost 3 years since the discovery... My brother is not convinced, more like outside influences are chirping in his ear. (I firmly believe that). This part is what bothers me. How can he not be convin...

  Page 73 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Today, I am writing about something that kinda peeved me off.  All through the COVID plandemic, I never wore a mask, nor did I use any sanitizer. I didn't get any of the jabs..  No, I am not going to get into the battle on who is right and who is wrong in the case of the vaccinations. It's your choice what you put into your body. However, we just passed the 4 year mark of the lockdown of our countries; a period of time that I couldn't stand but loved because it kept a lot of people away, but also forced families to be together and rediscover who they all were. Sorry, I am just trying to speak about the positives about the lockdown. The bad completely overshadowed the good, and I think, at the end of the day, it was a bunch of horseshyt. Although my rant isn't about the lockdown... It IS about the aftermath (so to speak)... I was supposed to go see a new cardiologist today, I got a call from them a couple days ago. I was impressed...

Page 69 pf 2025..  Good Afternoon Lovies. It's a beautiful day outside; I hope y'all are out and enjoying it. well, at least as good as you can enjoy a Monday. I literally feel braindead from the weekend. I have NO drive today. It took everything in me to even get out of bed today.  I guess it is a good thing I did, otherwise I would have missed yet another important specialist appointment coming up this week.  Isn't life grand??? (input sarcasm) If it were just me, I would just tell all the medical in my life to simply "fuck off" and just be done with it; but I have things to live for. I have people to live for... one in particular. Usually when shyt hits the fan, by the boat load, I pack up my necessities and I hit the road; this time I didn't... which is a HUGE feat, if you know me at all. Anyways, this isn't the topic I wanted to write about... I read an article today about a father who found his child being molested (or some form of sexual assault or ...

  My dear Lovies. I know I'm babbling about various issues today, my mind is restless... as you all know, I've had a rough day yesterday and am still trying to process that scar which has been painfully torn open. It only made it obvious that I need to rebuild the wall surrounding my heart... no longer with bricks, but with titanium. People often talk about building boundaries... I deeply fight to break down walls that life's circumstance has forced me to build, with every brick it threw at me. I was learning that it's okay to have boundaries... they only teach those around us to use the doors instead.  I fear the events of this weekend, has shut any opening I have ever made; believing that people ever cared. Unfortunately, one of the people I thought loved me, claims this weakness I felt from what my parents had said to me, and my reaction is me being a "LITTLE BITCH", along with some other delightful, ill-informed words to say to me. Call it being a Sagittar...

  'Afternoon Lovies. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I also write a crime blog. I have slacked on it really bad, so I think I am just going to create a new one and move over the stories I have already done... This case, however... I am just going to babble about here.  I am not going to go into excessive detail about the case. I will be writing mostly about the aftermath, and what is currently going on...  I would like to warn you that I don't like to mince words!!! I keep reading about Casey Anthony creating an Instagram account and how she has thousands of followers and fans. I don't really go on Insta, other to post stuff I share on FB.  But I have watched many, many people stating how sick these people are to be "fans" of her.... Well... I 100% agree with the people whoa re saying the people following her, are as sick as she is. She chloroformed her 2 year old daughter, Caylee, then proceeded to suffocate her with duct tape; placing her in the tru...

  Page 68 of 365. Good Morning Lovie. I hope you're all have a great weekend. I know the weather here has been extremely bipolar; inspite of the pain it has caused physically, I am not complaining. This blurb is coming from the depths of my heart. It's something I have struggled with my entire life. "Absolutely how I feel... my screams go unheard... my eyes stay unread... my hands remain bound... my heart breaks for the unloved child within." Yesterday ended up being exactly how I knew it would; and people still question WHY I struggle with mental health... SMFH Today, I struggle; but I will be okay. I am just working on restoring the bricks, to the wall I had let tumble. I feel like such a fool for believing that people can change. That people can just view me as love. That people can just look past my shell and see my soul... I guess my soul is just damned to walk this earth without the unconditional love that was supposed to be. Asking for love is just too much... ...

  Page 65 of 365.  Good Morning Lovies. I hope you have a Happy Thor's Day!!! I kinda chickened out of my appointment with my kidney specialist today.  Mainly because it was supposed to be really bad weather. (I mean, schools were canceled already last night too).  I also didn't want to go because I am not ready to face another surgery on either one of my kidneys at this time. Today is the kind of day that I would be dancing in the rain. It's not exactly warm out, but we've been getting rain for the past couple days and there's almost nothing I enjoy more :) I want to just be in the moment. Mentally, the past few weeks have been taking their toll, and last night, I've decided I need to fluff some of the BS into the background and start enjoying what is currently good in my life. I got to video chat with my youngest granddaughter the other day. I can't believe how big she is getting. My heart swells with pride when I get to see my baby (well, he's not a b...

Page 64 of 365.  Good Afternoon Lovies. Man, Is it only 1pm??? I have been up and running since 10 this morning, nevermind the beautiful skunk smell that filled the apartment in the middle of the night; which was especially putrid since I sleep with my window open. LOL I ventured down to some of the government offices today; and OF COURSE they were as useless as they always are. Isn't it awesome to see where our tax dollars go??? I am disheartened that I wasted time trying to see government agents face to face... you know, people who actually do their job... to no avail. The excuse they are using is since COVID, you cannot access their offices, and if you want to speak to someone, you must call a number, that tells you :Your miminum wait time is 3o minutes!!!"  EXCUSE ME??? You'd think that all these agents who are not seeing people face to face, would be attending the lines, making wait times shorter, no? So, now with a renewed sense of anger... I am thrown into overdrive...

  I AM TRIGGERED. Please note this, because this is a very sensitive subject... something that enrages me. My blood is boiling!!! I amgoing to post the link that has triggered me, then I will write my opinion on this. (Remember this is coming from a white woman, not this it should matter. Anyone and Everyone should have a fkn issue with this happening!!!) LINK: Black graves are being moved to make way for an industrial park, drawing a mix of emotions I don't even know where to begin... We just went through years of  finding unmarked mass graves of children (victims) who died at the hands of the residential schools they were subjected too and suffered brutally in. Please kmow, I am NOT comparing who has suffered more because there is no way to compare anyone's pain, suffering and tragedy to another's. We cannot even compare what the Indigenous people were subjected to, compared to the slavery that happened centuries earlier. I am not going to dive into either one of the sick...

  Page 63 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope all is well with you; despite us all living in a crazy-ass world. I have been slacking with my writing, considering we are on the 4th page of the 3rd chapter and this is my first entry... I've had a lot going on, and I am confuzzled where I should begin. I guess I could start with all the bullshit happening around my home and "bubble". I am putting up the good fight against this massive corporation. I may be one person, but I have a damn loud voice and have NO fear of screaming!!! I am not being cocky. I am just being real. I know they will make every effort to squish me like a bug; I am simply hoping those who are enduring the same shyt I am, will find the courage to speak out and join the fight, no matter the retaliation they will try to do.  I think I finally snapped when I went to the elevator and heard so much noise, I decided I was going to record what was going on... I already knew what was making the noise, but I was s...