Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

  Page 30 of 365. Good Afternoon all you beautiful souls!!! I hope your day is going well, and peaceful. I also really hope that all of you are staying nice and cozy warm, on these weird ass weather days we've been having lately.  I don't know about where y'all live, but by this time of year, we should have at least a few inches of snow, dirty slushy sidewalks and the nasty stain from all the salt they pile on walkways and roads; not this year... (And we're at the end of January already!!!) I know, I am a weird ass. I love the winter. I love the cooler weather, and I definitely love the snow. People are always shocked when I am out in a tanktop and shorts when the weather is maybe -1C outside.  I just look at them and say, "Yah, I am THAT Canadian!!!" FACTS ARE FACTS!!! I love ice fishing. I love hunting. If I had my way, I would be in the middle of nowhere, living off the land for the rest of my life. I'm a country girl stuck in a city girl's body; we...

  Page 29 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I don't really have the energy to write any beautiful sentiments or give the proper salutations right now, because I am sooooo fkn angry right now; it's taking everything in me to NOT explode. They say, "the tongue is mightier than the sword"; so I guess my keyboard will have to suffice!!! I cannot state this any clearer... when someone tells you something deeply personal, are struggling or are telling you they are "tired"... PAY ATTENTION!!! Some people don't have the means to say how troubled their mind really is; or they have been told to "suck it up"; the latter is usually what men and boys are told BTW. The second a person reaches out and they are told (even once) that they should keep it to themselves, or "deal with it, everyone has problems!!!"  They will NEVER trust a single soul to listen to them ever again. They will suffer in silence, all because you couldn't take the time to hel...

  Tonight... the one night a year, where I really do not want to close my eyes; not even for a second!!!  I know, many of those close to me try to convince me that it is time to let it all go... that's all fine and dandy; but your ignorance is truly bliss, and I love that for you. Clearly you have never lost a loved one that was so near and dear to your heart, and it shows... consider yourself blessed. I don't want to wallow in sadness. I don't want to shed a tear. I simply want to keep his memory alive. I know it is 15 years ago; but every day I wake up terrified I will roll over and find another dead body beside me.  (Yes, I know this sounds ridiculous to people, but its the very definition of cPTSD). I keep his memory alive. I try to replay his boisterous voice or sinister laughter, in my head; but sadly it seems to be slowly fading away. I hate that the last of his memories; the last of our moments are disappearing with the sands of time. I don't want to forget. I d...

  Page 28 of 365. Good Evening my Lovies. I hope your day treated you well. Me? It was another casual day. I honestly didn't want to get out of bed, but when I don't, I end up feeling worse the next day.  I am grateful the wind has calmed down and the temp hasn't been too bad, however; the warnings have just been issued that an Alberta clipper is headed this way for tonight and tomorrow.  Am I the only one who loves the beautiful, white snow; making the world so serene, blanketed with peace??? This blurb isn't going to be a long one, as I really don't have a topic on my mind that is super important to express at the moment... You know how some people are asked if they has the chance, would there be anything they would change in their past, what would that be??? Many people mention things that they have done that have ended up with disastrous results; often feeling guilt or regret. I am not like that though... Maybe I just view things in a weird way, but it is my phi...

  Page 27 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you are all staying safe and warm, in this crazy ass nasty, windy weather... Like, HOW RUDE!!! Last night, when I went to bed, I knew we were in for some nasty weather over the next couple days and had decided that it was gonna be a "bed" day; but alas, I have risen and am being somewhat social... I think I more like furniture than company at this point (Sorry, inside joke!). It's just been one of those weeks and it's only Monday LOL. I don't have a specific topic to speak about, except to reiterate how much I despise bullies. I mention them today because I am not talking about a person to person kind of bullying.  I am talking about corporations that bully their employees... Corporations that abuse their employees, and because they are a multi-million dollar organization, they think they can do whatever they want.  Sorry, It does NOT work that way!!! For the past several years, I have watched this company railroad e...

  Page 26 of 365.  Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope the day has been treating you well, and that you have a great time with whatever your plans are tonight. Today, for me, it's watching football; cheering on both the underdog teams... I'm on the edge of my seat because DAYUM!!!  I'm waiting on my Philly Cheese Steak sub and then we'll finish off the meal with a bday cake for a friend...  I'm just hoping beyond hopes that the second game is a great one; keep the score close and the game a tight one!!!  I can't stand watching a game where it's just a slaughterfest!!! It's been a rather quiet day. Trust, I am not complaining. I do reminisce about the good ol days, when the house would be full; the air filled with tension and some unspoken words, cussing to high heaven LOL. I miss the camaraderie of it. I used to love cooking a feast, or making a ton of food and just having an awesome time. I think of the times of where I got my passion for sports, and am very ...

  Page 25 of 365. Good Evening Lovies. I know it is extremely late tonight to be writing an entry; but I am completely scatter-brained tonight and just need to somehow sort the things out... and writing in my blog seems to be the best way to do that!!! This may seem like an "age old" kind of question, and one that truly doesn't have an answer; but I am going to ask it anyways. Maybe there is an ancestral, very old, wise soul out there who can put some wisdom into this for me... Have you ever stood at a precipice of time... a portal of sorts; where you had to make a choice that would alter your life completely?  Knowing what happened taking the one route... if you were brought back to the same cliff, would you choose the same, with the knowledge you learned since that life-altering moment??? I have always said, "THERE ARE NO "COULDA", "SHOULDA", "WOULDA". THERE ONLY IS WHAT IS!!!" I have been constantly reminded that my way of thinki...

Good evening lovies. I have been struggling with something that is very close to my heart. I truly do not know where to proceed next. I'm going to try and make a very long story as simple as I can... I was adopted at 5months of age, (well apprehended at 5 months, adopted at 5 years). There is something that adoptees yearn for all their lives... WHY?  I know for me there were many questions and on my 19th birthday it appeared I was going to get those answers when I met the woman who birthed me. Unfortunately, I was sorely mistaken!!! Years went by, and I allowed this woman to have control over certain things that were weighing heavily on my heart, She held the one piece of the puzzle that felt missing from my heart... who my biological father was?!! I, one day decided that I wasn't going to allow another person have that kind of control over me... EVER!!! I left the situation alone. I struggled deeply. I was literally at war with myself. on this topic. In a way, I felt guilty th...

  Page 23 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. It's a brisk one today! Stay warm, and safe. I have been trying to find the right time to write this entry; but there never seems to be a right moment for this kind of thing, is there? From the mid of January until the end of January, I hit a depression; one I fear I may never come out of.  (I have been better at coping with all the events that happen then; but the pain remains the same). On January 16, a year and a week ago, today, my beloved aunt passed away. Her and I always had a very special bond.  She loved me as if I were her own daughter; made me feel like part of a family that wasn't blood. It's like she was blinded to the words "adopted" or "blood related".Ironically, she almost WAS my adopted mother... but that's a story for another day!!! Her passing was unbelievably painful to me; not in the sense of death. I know death is a part of life, and she deserved to leave, the suffering was unbearable for h...

  Wow. I know it is late; but I was just about to be in a pleasant slumber when things kinda startled me, and now I am fully awake again...  Don't worry, I fully  intend on getting a night of complete shut-eye once I get this off my chest!!! I know this may feel like it is coming out of left-field, but in recent months and years, these situations are become a regular thing; and something we all should prepare for. I am not going to get into specifics, as to why I am writing this one tonight; especially since I wouldn't give the man any justice on writing about him. He was a mere neighbour I waved and said "Hey" to, that was the extent of our friendship. (It IS his story that is on my mind; therefore writing this blurb so late in the night)!!! This man, like a few others before him (some of whom I was good friends with), have been found deceased in their homes. A couple of them had been found after days, or even WEEKS after their passing. I am sorry... that statistic a...

  Page 22 of 365. Hi Lovies. I know, it has been a minute since I have written; unfortunately life has totally gotten in the way ~ and not in the good way!!! Eight days since my last confession... just kidding!!! Kinda feels that way though! The past 8 days have been a bit of a blur, as I had a couple visits to the hospital... one more frightening than the next... Last week Tuesday, I had a dr appt with my family practitioner; that is usually a few minute discussion; but turned into something a bit more. (Its written in my previous blurb)... Later that evening, the pain became unbearable, and 9-1-1 was called. It should be noted, I am extremely stubborn when it comes to going to the hospital; but felt this was necessary, because not only was I having the usual vomiting of dark blood, and vertigo... I was paralyzed for an hour and a half, from my waist down. I had a headache that was causing me to speak jibberish. Firefighters attended to me until the ambulance arrived, they kept an...

Page 14 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I really, really hope your day is going better than mine!!! Sorry, woke up at the asscrack of dawn, as I had a doctor's appointment this morning.  Thankfully it was with my family doctor; appointments with him are fairly painless.  Today, however; things kinda went sideways.  I am usually in and out within 10 mins for these appts, but today? I was there for over 45 minutes. Of course, it didn't help that I was puking maroon blood in the office. I know, I don't share a lot of my medical nor really personal stuff on here, but just so you're aware, this has been happening daily since end of May/beginning of June last year. I am what they call an "anemic blood clotter" which I didn't think was possible, but apparently it runs on the paternal side of my family. Anyways, that was the main focus of my visit after that. My stomach medication is being switched AGAIN, this time I am being set up with an antibiotic (which is cra...

  Good Evening Lovies. I know, I know. I haven't written in a few days and now I am writing my 3rd blurb today.  Like I said, life got in the way these past few days; it is just now that I have had the time to get my thoughts down. I am not going to beat around the bush on this one, so let's just dive into what I gotta say... Well, actually, let me ask y'all a question before I jump in... If you have people you care about being hurt by another, would you jump in? Would you care enough to stand up for the "underdog" and take up the fight for what is right???  (No matter the cost to you) I will. I have. I am, and I will continue to do so!!! I have friends that even though they are fairly new in my life, I consider them "friends" , not "acquaintances" ... I can say they are "fam" to me.  (I won't be naming names, as per my own rules).  They have massive hearts, would literally give the shirts off their back, and show this time and ti...

  Afternoon Peeps. This entry is possibly going to be one that is a bit off the wall for some. I have missed writing for 3 days, so my thoughts are kinda jumbled. I am just going to write this out and hope it somehow makes sense... I have spent most of my life, sort of in the "shadows" . Yes, I have a bubbly personality, IF I am around the right crowd of people... People I trust and feel safe with.  I need to be in an environment where I know that being open and vulnerable, is not going to be criticized or scrutinized by the people around me. Now, don't get this twisted, when I am talking about being "open" and "vulnerable" , it's not about sharing sad stuff; it is simply about being able to be free, being able to joke around.  I don't like being around people who get easily offended, or those who can't handle sarcasm. I am not saying to be ignorant to people; but if people have to be restricted in their words than what is the point in spe...

Page 12 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I apologize that I have missed a few pages already... life tends to do that sometimes.  I've been having a bit of a time with it lately. I'm not in the greatest health these days; a lot of time is being spent in bed, or at my sister's to ensure I don't do any "funky chickens" or "weeble wobbles" , as we like to call them...  Sometimes I like to refer to them as "freebies" ... THOSE happen A LOT!!! This entry isn't going to be a long one. It's more of a dedication to my dad.   I wanted to wish my dad a Happy 86th Birthday. It is absolutely crazy to think he is on his 87th trip around the sun. To sit back and really think of all the things he has endured and survived as a child, to build the life, and business empire he created here in Canada. To still thinking he is and always will be my "hero" for all the health issues he has survived; including his third fight with cancer (which he J...

Page 9 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. It has been an interesting day. I am in a weird (ish) mood. Had a bit of a scare earlier about a friend we all care about very much. It truly is amazing how much stress can affect one's body. All I can say is I am eternally thankful that it was nothing more severe. I also finally got a sense of relief over something that has been really affecting me ~ mentally, emotionally, physically and psychologically, I will not be going into excessive detail, but it seems that the tide has finally begun to turn, on an under tow that has been dragging me for miles at a time!!!  I may even be able to find PEACE!!! There isn't a heck of a lot running through my mind today. It's been rather quiet on MY homefront; but I've unfortunately been watching the news... between the insane wildfires in Cali and the explosion that happened outside of Fort Worth, Texas... I honestly feel, this is just the beginning of what we have been "predicting" f...

I know this entry is going to peeve some people off, but I write in my blog to voice my opinion. I do NOT expect everyone to agree with me, because frankly if everyone in the world agreed on everything, it would be a very boring place. Just know I respectfully can agree to disagree, but I will NOT tolerate ignorance.  That being said, this is my topic... Anyone who reads my blog knows that I am a HUGE advocate for mental health disorders, chronic pain, auto immune disorders, etc.  This is what I am discussing today. It's going to be a controversial one though, and does NOT pertain to anyone specific!!! As many of you know, I am adopted; what you may not know, is the reasoning behind it.  From the biological side, the woman who birthed me (Spat me out, for lack of better words), had left me alone in an apartment for 3 days, when I was 5 months old before the police found me. Yes, I was near death. I had pneumonia in both my lungs, and had it not been for my 3 year old brot...

  Page 8 of 366. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope the day treats you well. I know we are just starting the second week of January and things seem to already be a bit crazy out there. My only wish is that y'all stay safe, healthy and happy.  Days may be challenging, but please never forget how much of a warrior you all are; each morn you greet is a victory and a chance to start anew... don't waste it!!! I woke up this morning and decided I needed to face what I truly didn't think I would ever have to deal with again BUT I made a promise and I'm keeping it. I have hinted in a few previous entries about a person I know that has been dealing with being sexually assaulted and harassed. They have taken various steps to try to have it dealt with; without going the legal route, as they know (all to well), the legal route is a long process, and one filled with a lot of victim blaming and judging... Today, I decided I am going to tell you all, this person is ME! I am taking my life ...

Page 7 of 365.   Good Afternoon my Lovies. I hope you all had a great day, and hopefully on your way home from work. It's been a weird ass kinda day for me and I am finally taking the time to sit back and write. Before I begin writing what is on my mind, I would like to wish a Blessed Christmas to all my (Greek) Orthodox friends and family... Καλά Χριστούγεννα The topic on my mind today is something that really irks me, and I feel I need to express it AGAIN, which really surprises me, but shouldn't really at this point. See, I have friends and family who come in all shapes, sizes, colours, races and anything else you can think of; so talking about this, is very close to my heart. I have friends who are gym buffs... I mean, work out everyday, at least once a day. They are fit and really work on their physique and I admire their drive. I also have friends who are naturally on the thinner side and have a great build, thanks to the genetics they were born with; while others I know...

This has been something I have been wanting to touch on for a while now. To start, I am fully aware that everyone has their own view on loyalty and what that word means to them. I can only talk about what the word means to me... The picture with this blurb is very fitting because I know plenty of people who are loyal to others, and that level of loyalty makes them look stupid.  The ones who are loyal do NOT get the same level back and that is NOT how it works!!! Loyalty. Respect. Honour. Love. Trust. They all are connected... DEEPLY!!! Here's a question I have for you... I am a freethinker, and I tend to keep an open-mind when it comes to meeting new people. Sometimes, others will warn me, or tell me things about the person I am meeting; either good or bad. I like to reserve judgment and decide for myself if they are good people or not. Everyone has a different view on things, so what one person may think is terrible, another may find acceptable because they are unbiased on the sit...

  Page 6 of 366. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you are all bundled up for this cold day. I've noticed a few flurries here and there. I don't know what I find so serene about snow. I find that is drowns out the sounds of the world, giving it almost a blanket of peace for a time. It's just beautiful to me!!! I am in a cloud today, filled with memories of my youth... the GOOD ones! See, I got a message from my parents last night, inviting me to the annual birthday brekkie for my dad's birthday. I really cannot believe he is turning 86 this weekend. It truly boggles my mind what my dad has endured, survived and conquered; yet still here.  (Inspite of everything that has happened through my 50 years of life, I have always been "Daddy's Girl". I will proudly wear that name with honour). My parents have been through a lot, again, whether through my adoption, or through birth, I am a first generation Canadian. My parents (Plz note, that the only people I refer to ...

  Hi y'all. Its is damn cold for most people today. Alas, I am a TRUE Canadian and am still wandering around the house in barefeet, t-shirt, and windows open... It's only -4 C (24.8 F) outside. No biggie!!! Sooooo, I made the mistake of looking up some articles about recent crimes; thinking ahead about working on my crime blog... Man, WTF is happening in this world we are in???  I mean, I understand the funeral of common sense happened a couple decades ago... but hasn't it been replaced yet???  Isn't there an expiry date on stupidity, or is society just going to get dumber and dumber...  Please don't answer, that was DEFINITELY a rhetorical question. For those of you who don't know, I am obsessed with crimes ~ the story, the investigation, the trials and convictions. I am extremely intrigued in the mind behind the crime. What made the person "flip"? What triggered the perpetrator?? Is is a case of nature versus nurture??? INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW!!...