Ramblings of a Canadian Gypsy Phoenix

  Page 324 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. How are you this Thor's Day?  I woke up at the ass crack of dawn today. I want to say my heart is heavy; but, I think a better term would be, it is filled with a heaviness because I want nothing more than to take the aching of someone I cherish very much. As you know, I never share names on here, this is the no different. I am not going to share what is going on with this person neither, as it is not my story to tell. I just know my heart aches for them... if only words and a simple flip of a "wand" would cure things, right?!!  Unfortunately, I am not Samantha and this isn't "Bewitched"... as much as I would love it to be right now. At this moment in time, it REALLY sucks being an empath!!! With this person on my mind, and a lot of people I love floating through... I really need to bring up a topic, that should be talked about more... tis the season; and I am NOT talking about the Big ole Jolly Fat Guy neither. It migh...

  Page 323 of 365.  Good Afternoon Lovies. I am writing this as one tired and pissed off Canadian. I have watched my country fall to pieces, crumbling because of the spineless bitches we have sitting on Parliament Hill ~ where the shitheads are that are supposed to be protecting the very people they are hurting!!! For years, possibly decades, our once beautiful country has turned into a universal joke. Criminals who are commiting the worst of the worst are being legally allowed to roam free, since there is this lovely thing called "catch and release"... an utter embarrassment!!!  People who kill, maim, or even pedos and predators don't see much of jail... but Heaven forbid if you hurt someone's feelings, by not agreeing with their religious views, especially if you are a white person (these days).  Laws are being passed that if you offend someone who is, let's say Islamic... you are scrutinized and given very stiff penalties in the eyes of the law; but if you do t...

Page 321 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I mean, I wanna say it is a good morning; frankly, I want to crawl back into bed, and I probably will after I am done writing this entry.  No matter how I feel when I wake up... Mondays seem to drag me down. I cannot explain it. I have so much stuck in my head, yet I cannot put it down in words. I am not in a bad mood. I am jusy "being"... if that makes sense?!! There is nothing particularly wrong in my life, per se.  (OMG, I just found out I have been spelling that incorrectly my whole life... pretty bad for an English Major ~ oopsies). Am I the only one who gets the Monday Blues??? I really should count my blessings. I have a roof over my head. I have food in my belly (or at least I do, when I have an appetite... but that is a whole other story). I have heat (sometimes, depends on the "mood" of the boilers of my building LOL). I have my health (yes, I am breathing on my own). My children and grandchildren are healthy and livin...

Page 320 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. It is Sunday Funday... and for those of us in Canada it is Grey Cup Day. LOL, and for those of you who do not know, the Grey Cup is the Canadian version of the Vince Lombardi Trophy for the Superbowl.  CFL (Canadian Football League) vs NFL (National Football League). I have zero intention of watching the game. This may be the first year, I am not watching much of any sports, other than hockey.  Everything has become soooo political, on and off the field/grid, etc, that it's spoiled sports for me!!! I DO have a topic on my mind to write about today; but I feel my words will not justify what I am trying to express.  Lately, I have been seeing a lot of people expressing how they are tired of being fkd over, and are really wanting to be left alone unless someone with pure intentions can bring peace to their "bubble"... the "need" to be with someone is diminishing the older we get.  The odd thing I am also finding, is others wh...

Page 319 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. It's Caturday 🐱 It is supposed to rain in the next couple hours, which is fine with me, as I am not planning on going outside anytime soon. It isn't warm out, so for anyone out and about, I hope you got the right gear on to be comfortable today. Today, it is going to be a simple kind of entry. As an empath, I have a terrible time sitting back and watching people suffer; especially the people who are attached to my soul. I am a fixer and a giver. I don't like it when the people I love the most are in any sort of pain and anguish... and today, is one of those days. I don't know what I am really trying to say today. I just know my heart is heavy and I don't have the words to explain why... this may be a first for me. I hope you all have a good weekend. Please stay safe. Be well and Be loved. Check in on your loved ones, don't take them for granted... cherish the time you have, because honestly, you never know. ~ Phoenix

  Page 318 of 365 Good Afternoon Lovies. Happy FriYay!!!  I hope your workday flies by smoothly and you get to rock into the weekend without any drama. May you be safe and have a great time, in whatever you are doing.  I have no plans for the weekend, but I am perfectly fine with staying home and enjoying the comforts of my bubble. I have zero qualms about sitting at home, catching up on a movie, or simply hanging out with my Ma.  Peace and tranquility are always my goal!!! I am NOT one who goes out to bars. I don't need to get all dressed up and hit the dance floor, flauting my shyt to see which guy's attention I can grab. I am great in that department, and quite honestly, I am not a floozy; my body, my lady bits are for only one man to see... it's called RESPECT!!!  I think there are a lot of people ~ especially women who have seemed to forgotten what that word means. It's not a control thing. It's not just about respecting your significant other, it's also ab...

Page 316 of 365.  Good day Lovies. I am going to straight up warn you that this entry needs a TRIGGER WARNING!!! I am who I am, and who am I if I don't speak bluntly on things? I will simply dive right into what is on my mind, while it is still fresh... Yesterday, I was in one of the groups on facebook called "Lies in the Bible".  There was a picture posted of an adult male with his pants down; mind you he had boxers on. He had a young girl sitting on his lap crying.  The tag on it, said that he was her teacher, and she was learning about the reproductive system of some sort of animal. There were HUNDREDS of comments, NONE of which were saying how wrong the picture was. JFC, I snapped. I posted "WTF is wrong with you people? This is vile and disgusting". Some woman came back at me with, "You Prick, they are not a different species!" HUH??? Now it suddenly became about race... first off, it had nothing to do with skin colour; it had to do with the fact...

Hey y'all. I have been bottling up my feelings about the lack of compassion... EMPATHY might be a better word for it.  I know I just wrote an entry about how invested our country became about a small Ostrich farm on the West coast; but there is also a bitter side to our country, and I desperately want to call people out on it!!! Now don't get it twisted, I like millions of other Canadians (and people around the world), are furious about killing all the ostriches and obviously the sinister reason they pulled this power trip; but I am also angry at the people who fought soooo hard for the ostriches. Let me explain... Canada has been in crisis mode for a few years now... some might say, it has been 10 years of being run into the ground by the corrupt Liberals. I think it's been the lack of accountability in the newer generations, and the complete lack of parenting and discipline. I am a Gen Xer, and there is no way in hell we would act the way people act today... But THAT is a...

  Page 314 of 265. Good Morning Lovies. It's a Monday, so I say that with the best intentions. I have been struggling to get my laptop out and write about the mess I have stuck in my head; but today I decided I need to get some of it out before I go completely bat shit crazy... As most of you are aware, I live in Canada. I, personally, can say, this is NOT the Canada I grew up in.  I  am ashamed of what our government has done to our once beautiful and majestic country. The people here were revered as "nice" around the world... our reputation as a country was pretty high on the list. Today, however, I am very conflicted on what has happened over this past week. Yes, I know it has been going on much longer; but it came to head this week. The government has over reached AGAIN and those power hungry bastards killed hundreds of ostriches in a farm out in British Columbia, claiming they had the avian flu; and the farm was considered a bio-hazard.  We all know this was bul...

Page 302 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. It is Hump Day... May you all make the best of it LOL.  Hell, I can't make any pleasantries today. I am rather ticked off about those in and around... Not those in my circle and bubble, but about some people I DO care about. When you live in the environment I live in (meaning a large apartment building I do, with a few hundred people, there are bound to be a few biddies); this place isn't any different.  You know how we always use the phrase.. " oh, if these walls could talk!!"... well, here, you don't need to imagine it. It's the daily reality!!! I used to giggle about walking out my door, and excitedly anticipating to learn all the new things in my life... and even more so, the things I have done!!! Well, it has rather gotten "old", and the BS is turning people's lives upside down. The things I am hearing are just insane, and it is taking everything in me to not confront these people. When people have nothi...

  Page 297 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope the day treats you well. I woke up at the ass crack of dawn today... not sure why; but here I am!!! I am going to try to keep this entry brief, as it is something that weighs heavily on me heart... I am a fun loving, open-minded, but very opinionated kinda woman. I love with all of my heart. I am kind (too kind, according to those closest to me). I am a free spirit who tends to give people chances when they clearly don't deserve it. Then comes the other side of me... I have depression. I have social anxiety. I have cPTSD. I have panic attacks. Most days, I am confident about myself, but there are some days I think and feel the worst about myself, for absolutely no reason. I get triggered at the smallest thing, or words sometimes.... and it can take me days to process through it (That is my ADHD though).  I had to write all this to get to my point... I know, on my good days, I am easy to love. I am easy to talk to. I am the one upl...

Hey. I told you I was going to write about something else today. The other day, I was watching the last few episodes of "Dynasty" (the newer one). I had forgotten the end of the series, so when I saw and heard the last episode, I had a meltdown, and even now, a few days later; my heart is still hurting!!! This is something that would be so minuscule to others; but deeply affects me. .. I am pretty sure, most of you have watched the movie "Annie". I am talking about the original one from 1982, with Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, Albert Finney, Aileen Quinn, etc. Sure, it is a sweet, feel-good, great ending kind of movie... for MOST people. For me??? It is a stark reminder of my own personal life. LET ME EXPLAIN!!! As you all are well aware of, if you have been following my blog, I am adopted; I was taken in as a foster child, into the same family who adopted me. I have a rather difficult (to put it mildly) relationship with my mother. Every year, on my birthday, my mother...

Page 296 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope all is well with you; or at least the best it can be for you. I have been away from the laptop for a few days now, really stuck in my own head.  I don't like watching the news, I can't stand the way our once beautiful, free countries are completely in shambles. I am sooo tired of the stupidity and hatred that is embedded in society... hatred that is completely senseless, in my opinion. I can't handle the ignorance of people... the fact that people have genuinely pushed their agenda soooo much, that the illogical is now supposed to be common sense. Children are no longer safe, at any age, from anybody.  I live, literally, with my curtains closed, to keep the ugliness outside. I keep my circle soooo tiny because the bitterness, hatred and flip-flop mentalities of people is disheartening. Society no longer knows the meaning of truth, justice, loyalty, respect (this is a HUGE one), and love.  Everyone is out for the almighty dollar...

Page 292 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. How are you? I hope you're having a great Sunday Funday... whether you're watching football, or just enjoying time with friends, family or loved ones.     (I stopped watching football for my own personal reasons... mostly because the league is bringing too much political and religious shit into it. I just want to watch a game... not some pansy ass bullshit. I don't care who is dating who... I hate the disrespect of the anthems and flags... Nah. I'm good. I'll stick to hockey!!!) I have been wanting to get something off my chest in the past couple weeks, but wasn't sure how to say it without sounding like a complete bitch.  I am going to try to tread lightly, even though this subject really can't be expressed delicately... it's more of a "this is how it is" kinda thing!!! I like to believe I have a good heart; at least people tell me I do. I am someone who is a "giver". I don't need to tell p...

  Wow, my brain is on overload and I have been dying to write, it's just been sooooo jumbled, I have been unable to sit down long enough to let the words fall out like verbal diarrhea. I guess today is the day, I am finally going to let some of that spill onto my keyboard... I have always felt very strongly about a relationship/friendship that has been a part of my life, for more than half my life...  (Crazy to think how long that actually is... a friendship that has endured more marriages than either of us care to count. LOL) If I am not fully transparent... I am nothing, so I am opening up and exposing my vulnerabilities here... no matter how tough we are, all of our shells have cracks. Scary, no? Being the way I grew up, you quickly learn there is no one to rely on, other than yourself... and sometimes, your own judgment is questionable. If you are lucky enough to find someone who has the same mentality, not judgmental, loves, respects, trusts and whose loyalty is never que...

Page 291 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you all are enjoying this sunny afternoon... at least, it is sunny here.  It is 22C here, which is warmer than I usually like, but our building where I reside, hasn't turned on the heat yet, so the heat is good for my Ma. That being said, I want to discuss something that has increasingly become a world issue; and it will only become frightenly worse if society, as a whole, doesn't step up and unite against our corrupt governments!!! Society, in general, has been failing pretty much everyone these past few years...  We are quickly approaching our cold season, and my city just voted on keeping 6 LEO to deal with the encampments for all the homeless. YES, it really IS that bad!!! People are constantly complaining that the homeless are destroying the city, that they are all drug addicts, etc. I beg to differ. It is quite apparent that many, many of the homeless are addicts or alcoholics. I am not condoning it; but I am also not judgme...

  Page 281 of 365. Hello Lovies... I apologize for long absence. I really don't have a major excuse for it; other than life REALLY got in the way of things.  Some acquaintances ended abruptly, while famILY bonding grew A LOT. Fragile and scattered friendships are now somewhat rebonding... we'll let you know down the line!!! My home is peaceful again... My Ma is living with me now, and my life, in general, is beautiful.  (Other than the usual grumbles... I don't have the right to complain about anything). I actually have a question, that kinda is on my mind. It is about an incident that happened, and I'd love to know others' opinion, and what would they have done, if it happened to them... Say someone that you came into the place that you were at, and was very moody, there has been a lot of tension in the past week or so; between all the people who were in the vicinity this particular time. The person who just walked in the door, made a comment that his "step da...

Page 264 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. It's Sunday Funday. It's NFL Sunday. I hope everyone is still able to get out and enjoy the nice fall weather we are having. I am grateful for the cooler temps... I do NOT do well with heat. Today, I am sort of beating myself up, for lack of a better phrase. I know, in the past while, I have been able to stay on a pretty level keel; but shyt has been getting to me, and I have went on a bit of a downward spiral. I have some terrible PTSD in certain things, and I have thought I had that more, or less, under control... BOY, was I wrong. That damn mental disorder snuck up on me these last few weeks, and it's deeply hurt me... Yet, if I were to explain it to people, they would say it's an irrational feeling. (No, not everyone)... I am struggling expressing myself to people I trust my life with. My words aren't coming out right, It isn't a trust thing... it is that my mind is soooo twisted by what other people, and surroundings ...

  Page 261 of 365. Good Morning Lovies. I hope you have a fabulous Thor's Day. There really isn't too much going on in my world today; all I know, is today I choose peace.  There is so much wrong with the world, that I am just going to stay in my bubble, turn on the TV and simply watch movies. I have NO desire to know what is happening outside the walls of my home.  I refuse to "adult" today!!! (Yes, I CAN get away with it... I am a "ToYs R' Us Kid). People, of course, will find this selfish, but I personally think everyone needs to shut off the world, from time to time, in order to reset their mental health and ease their troubled minds; me included. It is no secret that I cope with mental health on the regular. I keep it an open dialogue so people don't have to feel it's a taboo subject with me, nor will they be judged if they choose to open up to me. I will be your "safe space" and I believe strongly in the "four wall" policy. M...

  Page 259 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope your day went well. Today's entry is going to be rather short and a bit controversial; although, it really shouldn't be... Over the weekend, there has been soooo many messages and articles written about Charlie Kirk, and how his assassination has turned him into a martyr.  I can agree with that, in the sense, that he was murdered because of his beliefs and opinions.  I am not a Christian, and although I did NOT agree with everything he said, I had respect for him standing tall in his convictions and never wavering in his faith. I  really loved how he DID try to keep an open dialogue with everyone. He didn't simply slam others' and how they felt and what their ways were... even though he would bring his side with facts and truths that a lot of current (newer/younger) society cannot accept as reality. At the end of the day, what happened to Charlie Kirk is appalling; anyone celebrating over his death, needs to get their ...

Page 257 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. Today, I am just gonna wing it with what is on my mind.  Before I begin, I hope you all are having a great Sunday Funday.  I am sorta just chillaxing, listening to songs reminding me of my youth... roadtrips, camping trips to my favourite places... way out of the concrete jungle and into the wilderness park... where my heart always yearns to be. I have a lil thing I wanna talk about, it may seem a bit weird to talk about, considering the day and age we live in; but it something I see day-in and day-out. I understand why people feel the way they do, and I completely respect it; that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my heart. It has been the trend for years, where people's preference is to remain single; whether it has been from a bad break up or a death. I am from the Gen X era, and it seems to be really prominent in our age group, (It may be in other eras too, but I can only speak of my own).... I don't know what it is for everyone, s...

  Page 256 of 365. Good Afternoon Lovies. I hope you are enjoying your Saturday. I hope you all are in good health and able to enjoy these last few weeks of summer. I can't say I am complaining, it isn't that hot out and the sun isn't glaring down with any excessive heat. I don't really have a specific topic on my mind, that I urgently need to write about.  I AM going to discuss something that I feel is important to discuss, and should remain a top priority in our society; but somehow always seems to fall to the bottom of the list, as people sweep it under the rug; or feel that it isn't really a significant concern to our every day lives. MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH I write this as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a niece and as a wife. I am really tired of hearing the saying, "Suck it up!" when it comes to boys and men, when they express how they feel. This mentality has been embedded into their brains, since the beginning of time, and I am one, who is strongl...